Down Home

Update

2012-01-22T16:55:00.002-05:00

The Link Archive is moving! Yep, it just ain't working out. It is crazy over there. So I am slowly going to move links HERE. It will take a long time cause I will be putting them in the right order. leaving enough room to add on links without taking them out of order.

I will be working a lot on there so just bookmark it. I will do one post at a time. Working on Holiday Sites now since it is last. Yes, it does seem like a lot of work for nothing really. Well, it's for me, my family and you guys. I have a lot of friends around here who use it and it takes my mind off the real stuff I have to do.

You can still use the old site. I only moved the holiday Post. Working on Halloween and then Christmas. Then I will move the Star Wars links over, etc. Click on Halloween in the old and it will take you to the new. So have fun, I will have fun and will update this site soon. Thanks everyone.

And to a few here, I am getting the sites you sent up as soon as I can! I gotta go through them. Hang tight. Geesh!

The Beginning?

2012-01-21T16:10:00.001-05:00

Well hello there! Remember me? Yep, it's been awhile. As you know, a lot has happened in the past three plus years. My world got torn apart like a tornado with a hurricane caught in the middle. I lost my uncle, my mom, my cats, my home and my aunt who is still alive but not herself any longer. Wow. Am I still sane? The jury is still out on that one.

I am gonna try to start back on this here land of blogs. I miss my online family. Even though I hardly talk I have felt every single one of you and I gotta tell ya. Felt pretty darn good. So, where to begin...

Well, right here I guess. This is where I ended up. The journey was long and difficult but I made it through. Bruised, bloodied, emotionally drained. but I live. I live in another county in an apartment with my aunt and a toy poodle with...issues. I will discuss him later.

I am going to try this. I can't promise anything like how often I'll post or what it will be like. But I can promise it will be...different. A little real life (mine) with some fun thrown in. I have a lot to cover when it comes to my life and the past three plus years. I can't do it all at once. So, it will be in installments.

Now however, I would like to introduce you to some fun things I am doing. Website hunting. It is such fun. The deeper I dig, the cooler it gets.

Today, I would like you to turn to page 22, 1966 Batmobile. I will be putting together a model of that...when I buy it of course. I did it when I was young but a tornado destroyed it. I. want. it. back. Okie dokie then!

Also for your pleasure, please enjoy these fun things.

Allatok

Between the Seconds

Camouflage Photography

Creative Advertisements

Defying Gravity

How To Dance Properly

I won't be giving you this many all the time. So rest easy. Just something to look at when you take a break from life. We all need a break! So this is it. An installment of my life with some really weird stuff thrown in. Cause I'm crazy like that. Maybe I will get back to Sunday Dinner and some other Down Home stuff.

I just don't feel "Down Home" yet. I feel "escape" suits me better for now.

2012-01-07T22:01:00.000-05:00

Hello friends. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. I did. It was...surreal to say the least. I have gone through so many changes in the past three years. Lost mom, my home, my cats, moved twice (in less than a year) and a bunch of other stuff too. Man am I tired!

Thanksgiving was good. I did...and do..have a lot to be thankful for. We went to my sisters house. It is still strange without mama and my aunt Lorene. No smell of mama's famous meatloaf to wake up to to tell me it's the holidays.

Christmas was great. We had a live tree again. Only the second one since I was a kid. Instead of cats I live with a toy poodle. My cats. What a horror story that is. I can't go there yet but I couldn't find them homes. No pound but not what I wanted. Especially my Sara. God let her be okay.

Anyway, I am quite the Tom boy. I was the son my dad never had. So he got me into things like comic books, baseball cards and models. The comics I gave to my nephew. Cards I sold and gave away. My aunt Judy whom I live with got me some models for Christmas. I haven't done that in years!

It is really fun. You get to take bits of plastic and make something! And pray it sort of looks like...if you turn your head and squint..like the picture on the box! She got me a 1957 Chevy Bel Air. Forgot how hard putting a car together is. I used to do ships and airplanes. I have a roadster too. I bought be the space shuttle and ordered the Titanic off eBay. I can't wait for that to arrive! But I must finish the Chevy first. It takes a long time. Gluing the pieces, letting them dry, painting, letting it dry....you get it. Been working on it since Christmas and got part of the engine done. I am afraid this will be the practice model. Been awhile. Yep.

I will get another one and do it right. She got me supplies. I bought a tool box and have paint, glue, clamps, files, etc. It is fun.

Anyway, must run. It is late and I'm tired. Will talk again soon!

Looky!

2012-01-03T15:42:00.001-05:00

I am working on my Link Archive. I am going through them, deleting broken or changed links, putting them in some small order and adding new stuff. This will take awhile but I am enjoying it.

You will find links to the Game List in sidebar and parts 2, 3, etc. at bottom of list. I have done that to some other lists as well. You'll understand when you check it out. It has cleaned up the sidebar some.

I have lot's to add. New and old, so stay tuned. Also in sidebar you will see something called "Surprise" which I hope you will enjoy. It is some really cool stuff I find. I will add more along the way. As always, it's all a grab bag full of fun. Bookmark the ones you like. I may take some down after awhile. Leave the ones I really like.

If you have sites you want to see, email me. Thanks for the ones you have already sent me. I will have them up as soon as I can. Any websites beginning with "A" will be in the "A" list and so on. And yes, I will eventually get to this blog soon I hope.

Okie dokie. That's it. Happy New Year!

Follow Along!

2011-12-25T18:50:00.001-05:00

Click Me

Merry Christmas.

God Bless Us All, Everyone.

Little Old Me

2011-10-03T13:21:00.002-04:00

I know...I know! Sorry. Yes, I am still kicking. It just seems like everyday something comes up.........

Plus I'm lazy.....

My aunt and I still love the apartment. Although for someone who has live in a house all their life, it can be.....interesting.

For example, I am still getting used to my neighbor making noise.....ABOVE ME! That was weird for awhile. He is an elderly gentlemen so it isn't much. Still, over my head! We have good neighbors. The site manager isn't the greatest. Let me just say that her job is very difficult, I wouldn't want it and she does her best. BUT....

We are all the time getting notes shoved under our door of what we can and cannot do. We will ask her if we can do something, she says sure! and then after we have spent the money she shoves the note saying you can't do that! I now tell her to make sure before she says yes. *Grumble, grumble*

We have inspections. It is the 12th. She will come in 'whether you are here or not' and checks to make sure the stove is clean, dishwasher, under the fridge, bathrooms, light fixtures, sinks, ceiling fans, windows......you get the idea. I am disabled. How the devil am I supposed to clean under the fridge and climb up and take light fixtures down? That woman is crazy!

Sorry, I just had to get that out.

My other aunt that had a stroke is okay. She was in the hospital twice in the month of June and at the ER once with kidney infections. We take it one day at a time.

Well it is 1:32 and although I talked really nice to it the laundry simply refuses to do itself. So I must go and force it to comply. Laundry Rodeo. A new realty show dawns!!

Yes, I'm Alive.

2011-06-10T19:57:00.002-04:00

I haven't forgotten you. So much has happened. My aunt and I have moved into an apartment. That is twice I have moved in less then a year. We like it. We are broke but still in the game. My other aunt that had a stroke is in hospital. They had to put in a feeding tube. I have been with her every day and will continue when she goes back to rest home.

I will try my best to write more later. Love to all.

Egypt Is Free

2011-02-11T11:11:00.003-05:00

As a lover of history I keep close watch on the news. What has and is happening in Egypt are beyond words. Just now when they announced that for the first time, Egypt is Free. For the first time a group of millions of poor, middle class stood up in a peaceful way and made history happen.

Yes, there was violence. But it was caused by the very government that they were challenging. They were told that the media people were really spies and were sent there by our country and others to stop the revolution. The women were there to seduce the men, etc. For a brief moment, they fell into the trap their government has laid years ago. When they realized it, they were infuriated with the government and also themselves. They apologized with the media and in turn a lot were allowed to join them and report what they saw.

But in all, it has been peaceful. People were hurt on both sides but no war was started. They are there now, cheering, hugging each other, and soon will begin the difficult and long trial of a true free country.

18 days.

Revolution.

Victory.

Remember this day.

Update

2011-01-03T13:43:00.002-05:00

Hello friends. I am sorry it's been so long. Things have been a little...little?..crazy here.

First, Thanksgiving went well. Some of the family were sick and couldn't make it to our dinner my aunt and I...or I should say my aunt cooked. We have a deal. She does the cooking, I do the cleaning. Thank goodness she is an excellent cook! But we still had a good time. We spent the rest of the day with my aunt in the rest home.

I got sick the day after. My body always shuts down after a holiday because I am so active.

Christmas was great. Everyone came and we had a white Christmas for the first time in my life! It was awesome. We had a live tree. My first since I was little. Spent some time with my aunt at rest home. Couldn't stay as long as we wanted because roads were getting bad. It is so rare here that it got 24 hour coverage on our local news! Cool, huh!

My aunt is getting worse. She sobs a lot not. She thinks she has children, babies, and they die a lot. We can't convince her it isn't real. She hallucinates a lot now. The people she sees are as real to her as I am. She will stop talking to me to talk to...someone. She has very real and complex conversations with them. The problem is, it shouldn't be happening. Her son lives in Charlotte so since I go almost everyday, he has given me permission to talk with social worker, doctor, etc. and I try to get things done.

I went to my first Family meeting the other day with her son and the Social Worker. I know how she is better than anyone since I saw here almost every day when mom was sick and now since the stroke. The Social worker said that usually people in her condition, their minds are gone. But hers isn't. She knows everyone that walks into the room, who their children are, etc. Her mind is clear on those things. Her mind is clear on a lot of things that it shouldn't be in her condition. So this problem doesn't have a pattern or a reason. It comes out of left field. And it is getting worse.

They gave her a higher dosage on her nerve pill but it hasn't helped. So I go early tomorrow to see her doctor and social worker. I would rather they knock her out for a couple of hours than watch her sob...and I mean sob!.. for her dead children. She will tell me the police came in and filed a report because one was killed. She can give me a detailed version of this unreal conversation. She is living in a nightmare. She is being mentally tortured.

She sees people that aren't there. She can tell you what they are wearing. There is a man (in her mind) that stands outside her door every day. She believes he is a guard. She can tell me what he is wearing and it changes every day. She can't understand why we can't see him. Sometimes we agree with her, sometimes we don't. Either one upsets her. they are so real and so detailed! The other day she was talking to me and she stopped. She asked what was the "guard" doing? I said I didn't know. She said he just turned around with his back to her. I said maybe he is reading something hung up on the wall and she said he couldn't be. His face was too close to the wall to see anything. He had one hand in his pocket and the other by his side. That detailed!

I got there today and she was crying. They wouldn't let her go to the kids funeral. I sat with her a long time until she calmed down. I left her talking to "someone" in the room. Even the pictures on her wall are coming to life.

Something has to change or she is going to have another stroke or heart attack. I just want her to have peace.

Anyway, that is my world for the moment. i will try to update soon. God Bless and Have a great New Year!

Update

2010-11-18T13:24:00.002-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Sorry...again...that it has been so long. I just don't have a lot of time anymore. I am not complaining, I enjoy visiting my aunt almost everyday. She needs me and it feels good to be needed. It makes me feel a little awkward at times. A week or so ago we had a family gathering at the rest home. With her son, grandkids, etc., I was the one she kept asking for. She was sitting up in a wheel chair for a long time. She has headaches and neck pain constantly so I give her neck massages.

I am not going today. I fell and am sore so am taking today off. I feel guilty. She will be slightly more confused today and I will probably hear about it tomorrow, LOL.

I have said this before but I am trying to get back to recipes and the things I love. It will be after Christmas. Probably around the first of the year.

I am trying to sell some things. I have thousands of baseball cards. Most aren't worth much but if anyone out there wants some, or can offer advice on how to make the most money, please let me know. Money is a very big issue now. I need all the pennies I can get.

I have an I Love Lucy paper doll book. It is in very good condition. A page or two has some holes but not too close to the doll or clothes. I looked it up and it is selling for $100-200. If interested, I will take photos and will sell or fair price.

Yes, I am using this as a store. I am beggi....selling whatever I can for what I can.

Let me know. I have other things too. If no one answers, I will not bother you with anything I have to sell. I will just bore you with other stuff.

Later 'Gater

Whoa! Steady...Steady....

2010-10-14T17:16:00.002-04:00

Don't anyone panic. It's me again. The sky is still blue, no aliens have landed, it's really me...wait (pinches self...OUCH!) Yep, me.

As I said before...look up at last post.....I try to keep things to myself because I live with another computer lover and I don't want her to stumble onto this and be upset. She probably wouldn't but some people would. I think you know what I mean.

Anyway, this is my outlet. But there are things I need to let out that I am afraid to do here. My family has been through so much. I need something more. I don't really deserve to ask because I all but abandoned you guys for almost two years. A lot of you have been and still is going through very hard times. Perhaps worse than mine. But I am here...on bended knee, asking for a heart to lean on.

I need to talk about some things that are personal. I need someone who I can email privately to get these things out before I explode. I can't afford therapy and boy do I need it. Asking this is a big thing. Nothing people would want to line up for. Hearing other people's problems. What a bummer. I have always been more than ready (and still am!!) to be someone's heart to lean on. Now I need one too.

If by chance I get more than one offer, I will pick one or more. I hate choosing. But perhaps more than one will help me see more sides. I am desperate. I am afraid and alone because these things I just can't talk about to people I see.

So if you are willing...boy are you in for it..and perhaps a little strange. I will be forever in your debt. Remember, I am here for you all. Just email and say help. That will get my attention. My aunt is on the way home so I will close. What I need is an email buddy I can talk to that is private and I don't have to worry about it falling into the wrong hands. The problems are bigger than me and building and I need to let it out or go on Prozac. Prozac is expensive. Help me.

Thanks friends

BOO!!

2010-10-14T11:06:00.003-04:00

I know! Another entry so soon? Well my last comment got me. (raising hand...raising other hand) I promise to try really really hard to not go AWOL for so long. So help me Bob. Sorry, I watched the cartoon Rugrats the other day......don't...ask.

Anyway, it is 11:09 A.M. and I am still in my PJs trying to decide whether to go see my aunt today. I missed yesterday cause she had a dental appointment. She or they lost her upper denture. We think she took them out and it just got swept away in the trash. They were going to go dumpster diving but the trash pickup had already picked up. She was moved to a bigger room so I believe it was her.

My aunt would never be seen without her teeth. No way, no how. Now she takes them out and lays them on the bed, etc. Wow. That is what the stroke has done. It has taken away her dignity. She still has it some but the brain damage is stronger than her good brain.

That is what hurt me with mom. She lost her dignity. Couldn't go to the bathroom anymore. Went to a bedside potty to a brief. Now her sister is in a brief.

I have decided not to talk about the aunt I am living with anymore except a brief note here and there. She does not know about this journal and I respect her too much to discuss her without permission. I am not ashamed of this journal, it's just my personal outlet to help me cope with things with the help of the best friends....family anyone can have. I still miss AOL J-Land. I will try to get around to your journals soon. I do read a few occasionally. I just don;t have a lot of time anymore.

Anyway, As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, I want to see her but it has been raining and my bones are aching. I may go later this afternoon. I hardly go later in the day. That may be a good thing to do just to see how she is then. They are usually mentally worse in the evenings. They call them sun downers.

Well, I just remembered something. Writing about it will, I hope, make me remember. I should have down it sooner. The news gives he day/nightmares. I have a note under the TV to leave it on The Life Time Movie channel (they show clean movies and she likes movies) or the Hallmark channel. This month they are showing horror movies on Lifetime. Not good! So I need to print out new note for visitors, which means I should go see her sooner.

Okay, off I go!

October

2010-10-12T16:34:00.003-04:00

Happy Halloween every one! I have been busy. As you know I am living with my aunt. We are living at my other aunts house. They are sisters who lived together. My oldest aunt had the massive stroke. I go see her about every day. She is only about fiv or so miles away. It's amazing. She knows everyone who walks through that door, you can ask her about a church member who is alive or has been dead awhile and she can tell you the names of their spouse, children, etc. But she can't remember who is dead in the family.

My aunt that I live with have a few things in common. She was born late in life like me. She grew up with her nieces and nephews. I am 45 and she will be 60 in January. My eldest aunt (I am leaving out names out of respect) is more like a mom to my aunt/roommate instead of a sister. She dies a lot. The stroke has done horrible things to her mind. She is obsessed with fire for some reason. She sees my aunt (this is confusing, so J. is the one I live with & R. is the one with the stroke) she sees J dying in the fire sometimes. She smells the smoke, feels the flames, hears the screams....well you get the picture. She sees her fall and lays in the floor hurt, all kinds of things. They increased her anti-depressant. It will take awhile to kick in good.

She forgets her husband, mom & dad are dead. The on;y one that has managed to stay dead is my mom. I think it's because they were so close and R. helped with mom so much. J. worked so she would come when she could. R. is retired. I didn't realize just how close they were until now. She cries for her. Sometimes I seem to be the one that can calm her and get her to eat. I think again, it's because of the connection we had with mom and it was so recent.

I go almost every day. We have a routine. I am hands on. I come in, sit on or beside her bed, hold her hand, massage her neck and arms with lotion and things. I try to remind her that the things she sees are nightmares. I bring her something every day. I am slowly changing out her summer clothes for winter. She stays cold. I bring her a pretty picture I cut out of a magazine or an old calendar and tape it to the wall. I put together a photo album of all her get well cards and drawings from grandkids. I sit and look at it with her.

Anyway, that is my routine for now. It makes me feel useful. I will be in touch. Gee, I miss you guys. Soon, friends. I pray soon.

Still Kicking

2010-09-21T12:01:00.002-04:00

Fall is here again. I always am a little sad when it comes. Don't get me wrong, there is much beauty in all four seasons. The holidays, the beautiful colors God painted for us. But I am a "warm" person. Never liked the cold. Spring and summer are my favorites. I don't hurt as bad and I have more energy. But at least I am not alone.

Last year was the worst winter we have had in a long time. Record breaking cold and we had several snow storms. In my little neck of the country, if we see a single snowflake we all run out and ask, what the heck is that? Okay, maybe it's not like that but we really do have mild winter's compared to most.

This year I have heat. We have central air and heat. A big difference from gas and kerosene heat. It will take my body awhile to get used to. But I know I won't freeze. Last winter was scary.

Not much to report. Just been chugging along. Trying to fit in to a new life. I still have bouts of depression. Discovered some things about my family's past that is upsetting. I won't get into that. But it explains some things. Anyway, some cool stuff...my aunt and I have been researching our family history. On mom's side we are related to William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, Arron Burr, and some more I can't think of at the moment. Cool huh!

Well, I have a cold and it has hit me big time so am going to go stick a hair dryer up my nose and see if it will help me breathe better. Be back soon.

Two In A Row??

2010-08-30T09:16:00.003-04:00

Hey. Thank you for all of your support. I am terrible for not showing up more and telling you this. You guys have been a rock for me. Sometimes the "invisible" hearts and hands are felt the strongest.

It is hard to write because I live with my aunt. Don't get me wrong, she is great. We get along wonderful. I am 45 and she is 59. She has Parkinson's but can still work for now. We are slowly getting used to each others habits. We both like alone time so that is good. I am somewhat of a loner. I have the house to myself Monday- Friday and once in awhile she has to work seven days which is awful for her. She usually comes in and goes into her bedroom and watches TV and plays on computer like me, so that works out good. She feels about the computer the way I do.

She is having to get used to my body. She had to take me to the ER twice two weeks ago. My sacroiliac joint was inflamed. and I tell you what, I have had pain so bad with my back that I cried but never have I had pain like that. It felt like a huge vice was crushing my hips and legs. It took three shots the first time to just shave the edge off. I awoke this morning hurting there a little. It scares me. I warned her that Fall and Winter are hard on me and I don't feel good 95% of the time. I can feel Fall in the air now. My pain is changing.

We don't know how long we will be here in my aunts house. If you forgot, let me explain. My two aunts lived in this house. The eldest aunt, she is three years younger than my mom was and she was 80, is the house we are in now. She was the one that was closest to mom and helped look after her. She had a massive stroke and is in rest home not far from here. She has brain damage. She knows us but she has gone back in time mentally. It is sad. She cries sometimes. Wanting to go home but she don't remember where that is. She is bedridden. She can sit in a chair for only very short moments.

My car has been in the shop. I have it back now. When my check comes I will go see her every other day. I guess we still have a big connection from mom because I can get her to eat some. I rub her down with lotion and I will start reading the Bible to her.

Her son is trying to decide what to do with this house. He asked us to stay here for awhile. It is expensive! So we don't know where we will be Christmas. That is scary but at least me and her aren't alone.

I will try to keep you updated more often and I will try to be a little less depressing. It's just all of this, mom's illness, death, everything has just been one after another. Not much time to catch your mental breath. But, I will try.

God Bless.

Still Here

2010-08-29T10:12:00.002-04:00

Hey guys. Sorry once again for the absence. Still living in my aunts house. I have gotten into some kind of routine, but it is still hard. I miss my cats. I couldn't find homes for the three house cats except for one. Someone allowed me to take all to a barn in the country. She feeds them once a day. Amber is used to sleeping by the heater in winter. She can't do that anymore. Sebastian has no teeth. I worry about him getting food.

That is the hardest part. I have sort of become used to not being at home but they are harder to leave my heart. I know they stand a better chance of living. No pound. But, they were my children. I will write more when my aunt goes to work. I don't want her to know how sad I am.

I'm Back!

2010-07-21T14:05:00.002-04:00

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long. Everything has happened so fast I haven't had time to be on the computer.

I am living with my aunt at the house. My cousin wants us to live here awhile. He may have to sell it but until then my aunt and I are trying to pay the bills here. I have the master bed and bath. I like that. We don't know how long we will be here.

I finally turned off the water and power at my house. I managed to place all my cats except three that are very wild. I tried everything to catch them. But I couldn't. I just pray they finally go searching for a new place. I can't keep driving back and fourth there. Last time I was there, there was still dry food left so maybe they are eating else where. There is a field, woods and a creek nearby so I think they will be okay. They tore me up trying to catch them.

I still have a few things in my car but I am pretty much moved in now. I didn't have to bring furniture, just my clothes, books, movies and some odds & ends. My trunk is still full but I can empty it a little at a time.

I think this is easier on me. I left the home I was raised in to a home I know very well. This is where we had all the holidays when grandma and grandpa died. So it is familiar. Once we go to an apartment, it will be easier on me.

I have a lot more to talk about but must stop for now. I have done so much these few weeks that my body is shutting down. So I am going to go rest. I will update again very soon. Thanks for all the emails. They mean a lot to me.

Help

2010-06-18T13:39:00.004-04:00

Hello friends. I know it's been awhile. I am sorry. I try to get back into things but I have so much on my mind it's hard to do anything but think.

I may have an apartment. It has a pool, gym, playground. Two bedrooms and two baths. My aunt wants us to move in together. My aunt lived with her sister who had the stroke. She isn't better and will never come home. Her son will have to sell the house and that leaves my aunt without a home.

I think we could live together but......

First, I like being alone. But I can't afford it. She has a dog. I have cats. Bad combination. I will not let go of my three cats. That is a problem.

There are a lot of pros but a lot of cons. Some I won't go into right now. But if this happens, it will have to happen NOW. She will have to put up a deposit to keep it and one comes open the first. She can't afford it by herself. So I have to decide quick.

She has moved before. This house is all I have ever known and suddenly, without any warning, at the 11th hour. BOOM. Move or not.

I need prayers. Just pray for the right thing to happen. I don't know what to do. Winter is coming up fast and I can't take another year like last one. I may not have a choice. But now, if I say yes, I will have to condense my things even more. I won't have a whole apartment to decorate the way I want. I will have a bedroom.

Everything keeps changing and it won't stop. I am still reeling from mom's death and now...

Help.

Hello Friends...

2010-06-02T17:43:00.002-04:00

Well, my arm and nose are better. My aunt isn't. I doubt if she will ever get to come home. It is sad.

I just can't seem to get into the swing of things yet. This Spring we have been having more thunderstorms than usual which my body doesn't like. But at least it is warm. I am already dreading Fall and Winter. I don't know how I will afford it.

I have been hooked on the BP oil spill webcam. God bless those that died and their families too. Watching it, it is easy to see why it is taking so long. The current can get pretty strong down there.

I hope to be back soon. I know, I keep saying that. I will though. I just don't feel...normal yet. I have to work at dealing with the "new" normal I guess. Nothing is the same and never will be again. It still hits me sometimes that I am alone.

Remember Me?

2010-05-13T12:12:00.002-04:00

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long. A lot has happened. My aunt was moved again to a rehab place. She took two steps the other day. She can talk better too.

Two of my darling cats tripped me and I fell flat on my face in the kitchen. I'm not sure but I think I bounced. Anyway, I broke my nose and they thought I fractured my elbow but it is just a deep sprain. I was in a soft cast for a week but am now free (no more itching!) I am just now able to type. I can't straighten it yet but I can use it some. It will take time to heal. Typing with one hand is for the birds!

Not found a home yet. My sister had a knee replacement so am waiting for her to mend before I do some serious hunting.

Well, my arm is hurting so I am going to go work on the Link Site. Less typing. See ya soon!

Hello friends

2010-04-19T13:37:00.001-04:00

Well my aunt has been moved to a different hospital for rehab. They finally got her heart under control. I am happy to say she is getting some feeling back in her left side. My other aunt tickled her foot and she almost kicked her, LOL.

Her mind is better. She drifts off sometimes but is more aware now. We don't know if she will make a full recovery or not. She is still in danger of having another stroke.

Time will tell.

Hey.

2010-04-16T16:01:00.002-04:00

Well, my computer is still kicking so far. My aunt isn't better. They tried to move her to rehab and her heart slowed. They will keep her until they can control it then she will be moved to another hospital.

I am working on Links. I have also added more to the Down Home links and sidebar. So hep yourself!

Checking In

2010-04-12T15:28:00.004-04:00

Hello friends. I haven't been around either blogs lately. First my computer crashed. I would turn my computer, the Vista logo would show up, no sound, then it would turn into a blue page. My nephew, typed in something before it crashed and did a scan on my drivers and it said it is okay. Then it started. I couldn't even do anything in safe mode. It said Windows Explorer stopped working. No taskbar, no nothing. But my screen saver worked!
Finally I turned it off from wall, turned it back on and managed to hit ctrl, alt, delete and brought it up. I was able to get into task manager, type in....I can't remember. I tried many things. But I brought up a new window, and somehow managed to get to system restore and that worked. My nephew told me to not turn my computer off until he could get one of his pointy head friends to come and look at it.
I can't update things that makes the computer restart. So if you don't hear from me for awhile you will know it finally crashed for good. I have another cpu but I will lose all of my Firefox bookmarks. Does anyone know how to save bookmarks to disk??? I need step by step instructions. I looked it up but I managed to save my photos and wallpaper but I can't figure out how to do bookmarks. The online stuff just confused me.

Next, my aunt, mama's sister had a massive stroke. She has been having mini ones for awhile. She is in Charlotte near her son. She is completely paralyzed on left side and can see only out of right eye but only her Peripheral Vision. Her mind is bad. She knew me, my sister and niece but she still thinks mama is still alive. That hurt all of us. They don't know how much she will recover from. My sister got her to eat and she cracked some jokes but it is so sad. We don't know how long she will be in hospital. She failed the liquid test so she is on pureed food and drink.

It just never ends.

The End.

2010-03-31T19:36:00.002-04:00

In a few hours it will be a little after 1:00 AM April 1st. A year ago to the day when I got the call. Hospice House calling the family in. She lingered till the fourth and we buried her the fifth.

This is the end of all the firsts without her. These next few days may be the worst of all. I relive those days over and over in my mind. But now it will control me again for a little while. Minute by minute is etched into my brain.

After, I hope I can begin anew. What my future holds is a mystery. But with God's help, friends like you and a lot of patience, I may just be okay after all.

See you on the flip side.

Day One

2010-03-30T19:17:00.013-04:00

I am doing this slowly so hang in there with me. Some of the tips and other things don't always come from me. So when it says "I do this, etc" does not mean me personally. I am just too lazy to write it out. I will let you know when it comes from me. But they are good tips. I will soon get back to recipes, stories, and all kinds of stuff. But right now I just thought I would share some things with you once a day or so. It feels good to be home.

*Tip Of the Day: Windows - the easiest way I have found to clean my windows is take a big pail and fill with very warm water...then add ONE drop of Dawn dishwashing detergent. I then take a waffle washcloth and completely soak and then wring out as much of the water as I can. I then wipe the window and follow with a cloth diaper or other lint free cloth and dry. This leaves the windows crystal clean.

*Surprise Website of the Day: Click Me

*Something To Think About: Click Me

* A Thought From Me: I just recently discovered that I ask God for too much. No one needs more than they can handle. So, when I pray, I ask Him this. "Father...Just Enough."

And it always is.

Looky!

2010-03-29T18:24:00.002-04:00

New things in sidebar, some new links in the Down Home Sites, and if you scroll allll the way down, you can help me feed my fish!

I may change things once in awhile if I get itchy so keep a look out! The stuff in the sidebar with dates are things I change. So if you like it bookmark it.

Any ideas, websites or whatever you may have, let me know! I am slowly getting my heart back together. Still a few pieces scattered around but I am working on it.

It is amazing. The "wall" I had around my heart for protection, the wall that no one could breach, came crashing down when mama took her last breath. A breath so small that it wouldn't have moved a feather. April 4 it will be one year. Seems like only yesterday.

For those who plants flowers, especially roses and tomatoes this year, think of my mom Geneva. The pictures of gardens and roses are in memory of her. I bet The Garden in Heaven looks even more beautiful now that she is there. Now that she knows all of you, I know that because you all have been so kind to me and have become a part of my family that you all have an angel watching over you as a thank you from her.

I thank you as well. Believe me when I say, you all have helped me more than you will ever know. I have you in my prayers every night. May God continue to bless each and every one of you.

A Surprise.

2010-03-28T13:04:00.002-04:00

You will be getting things from me once in a while. I am not quite ready to jump back into this all the way yet but I am nearer the water. This is just....cool.

A very handy thing.

Attention Please.......

2010-03-20T13:42:00.003-04:00

Happy
Spring
Everybody!!!!!

Be back soon.

Update

2010-03-08T14:07:00.003-05:00

Yep, still here, still working on link notebook. He may get it when he is 80.

I want to tell you something and then I am going to go put on my straight jacket and take my meds.

It feels like when my mom died....so did our house.

Oh problems would come up and she always had the money to fix it which I don't but....Mom and dad built this house with their own hands. Their blood sweat and tears are in it. Well.....I got some major bad mojo going on!

I mean the front porch is buckling, the cement steps are crumbling, the tiles in my living room ceiling are about to fall down, the dryer is making a strange noise, the hot water heater is leaking, the big kerosene heater may have a leak, my small one is broke so I have to blow it out instead of shutting it off. A pane of glass in my bedroom is cracked and another one is coming out.....let's see, did I leave anything out? Probably but you get the drift.

I don't believe in that stuff but......whoa!

eek?

Oh and I saw a phantom cat the other night. Ain't going there just yet. Give me time.

Waving

2010-03-03T15:16:00.003-05:00

Yep, I'm still here. Had a round of snow yesterday but was gone by this morning. Yey!! Please let that have been Winter's goodbye until next year! I am so ready for Spring it ain't funny no more.

I am conserving every drop of fuel I have to make it until things warm up. We aren't used to the winter we have had. Our roads aren't either. You miss one pothole only to hit another.

17 more days till Spring. I am counting down. It is 46 right now but feels like 30 with the wind. We are supposed to have 60 degree weather later this month. I don't have much heat left except for a small kerosene heater. Please warm up!

Still working on Link Archive. If you know any cool links, pass them on! I have thousands I haven't added yet and I hunger for more. At least I am not the only website addict. I have even had some to create their own notebook like the one I am.....making for my....nephew...excuse me, my dryer is making a very un-dryer sound. Okayyyyy...that was weird. At least the clothes are dry. I will just let it rest awhile.....

I am going to be...and already have..changed some of the stuff in the sidebar. I have the dates on which I change them in this and the other blog so hurry on over and check it out. I will wait a day or three (when I get around to it....or remember to) so you can see them. Some are fun. Some are helpful. Enjoy.

I will get back to running this blog the way I used to. I have hundreds of tips and recipes and all kinds of things! But I need to get this notebook worked on and give it to him before he's 80. I will give him the notebook of finished links and keep working on it so I can give him the papers as I finish them. He is into music. That is his majr in college. Plus he loves games so I am having fun. You are getting the sites too by the way. I am also still adding to this site. Links are in sidebar.

Like I said, let me know if you have some cool stuff bookmarked. I will get them in as soon as I can!

Enjoy and pleeeaaassssseeeee pray for Spring!!!!

Just A Note

2010-02-19T18:04:00.003-05:00

Hopefully all is well but my CPU is making a clicking sound that may mean a fan. So if I stop for awhile with both sites you will know it is down. It only does it once in awhile but any noise isn't good. So keep fingers, toes, knees, eyes and ears...if possible...crossed that it's nothing. Thanks!

Morning! Or Afternoon...Or....

2010-02-16T11:59:00.002-05:00

First, I want to thank you for your wonderful comments. They mean a lot to me. I haven't begun reading journals again yet but I will!

With all the stress of trying to get through winter with enough heat (maybe, maybe not) and trying to find a new home, thinking about leaving this one and having a very very sick cat and have no money to take him to vet (they want all the money at once), I am just trying to feel half way decent.

Doing the websites is fun and takes my mind off things. I have some ideas for when I start blogging here again so stay tuned!

I am still adding to the Down Home sites and still adding bunches to the Link Archive. I have a friend who started at the first entry and is going site by site when she gets bored. I told her not to judge a site by it's name. Click on a few links inside the site. Some hold gems but you have to dig for them. If you find one that is broken or is rated very "R" please let me know and where to find it and I will remove it. I don't have time to really get deep into the sites yet. I have a long list wrote down, bookmarked and I use Stumble Upon. Some are helpful, some are funny and some are....weird. Also I am adding to the game site in sidebar so check that to you crazy gamers! I am adding a Part 2 cause it is getting so long.

I changed some of the stuff in the side bar in both blogs. Added some stuff to. I hope you enjoy them. I will try to change them often. Some have dates I added them so you can tell when I change it.

No snow! Please let it be done with! 32 days until Spring. Count with me!

Keep Eyes Peeled! (oo)

2010-02-14T19:51:00.001-05:00

I am about to add the Down Home websites....again. I am no where near finished so keep watching!

Down Home Sites

2010-02-14T14:28:00.150-05:00

ThirdAge
The Bad Fads Museum
Better Homes & Gardens
All Recipes
Home Made Simple
Answer Bag
Fly Lady
collect.com
Radio Archives
Yard Sale Queen
Frugal Living
All Experts
Back When
Right At Home
Coupon Cabin
Food 411
Real Simple
How To Clean Anything
How Stuff Works
Past Voices
Farmers Almanac
Deer In the Yard
Creative Kids At Home
Country Door
Vintage Technology
Yesterday USA
Write A Senior Citizen
The Daily Recipes
Old Car Manual
Attack Of the Redneck Mommy (R-ish)
What Is It?
Jack's Country Store
Reminisce
Crafty Links
The Leg Lamp
Miss Abigail
This To That
Happy Slob
Thrifty Fun
The Practical Pantry
Road Trip America
eHow
The Coupon Clippers
The Food Network
Hillbilly Housewife
Soldiers Angels
How To Clean Stuff
Kaboodle
Consumer Reports
In the 70s
Myrtle
Make-Stuff
Ellie's Treasures
Cake Wrecks
Old Forty Fives
Pop's Attic
Retrofuture Today
The Helpful Gardener
Country Clipart
Live Auction Talk
Atomic Magazine
Kiddie Records
Angie's List
The Old Time Radio Network
Collectables Now
Wanda's Country Home
Unique Projects
Old Vintage Baseball Cards Auction
Happy News
Christian Answers
Scopitones
dMarie Creative Scrapbook Place
Fun Room
Quilting
Groceteria
Discount Stores of the 60's
Feeling Retro
Country Whispers
The Olden Times
Shine Gallery
Ultra-Lounge
Y'all
Route 66 Magazine
Modern Times
Judy Garland Database
Classic Movie Musicals
Motel Americana
Frank Sinatra
Classic Movie Favorites
The Ravin' Maven of Classic Films
Dress That Man
Silver Screen Sirens
Cowgrass
Vintage Vegas
Retro Junk
Antique Bottles
America In the 1930's
Country Magazine
Doo Wop
Mrs. FIXIT
World War II Letters
Vintage Ads
Golden Age Cartoons
Antique Appraisals
Silent Movie Multiplex
Vintage Footage
Reel Classics
Tales of Future Past
Radio Lovers
NetGrocer
Woman's Day
Historic Houseparts
Wild Birds Unlimited
Old Time Jazz Online
Virtual Victorian
Old Home Remedies Guide
Old Bluejacket's Patriotic Films
Antique Prints & Maps
Cracker Barrel
American Folk
Grub Hub
Old-Time
Shortcuts
Chicken Soup For the Soul
The Fifties Index
Antique Restoration Advice
Free Antique Appraisal

Oh No It Didn't!

2010-02-14T14:06:00.003-05:00

Okay, I am really ticked. You know the Down Home Sites I worked really hard on and still was? Well it tells me it does not exist! I have been through my entire journal and nothing. The link in sidebar says nope, not here!

My life really bites at times.

If you happen to find it let me know. If not I will just start over. It will take awhile though. I had some good stuff in there too!! I have most wrote down but some I will have lost forever. I don't get it. What happened?

I will get them back as soon as I can. I am making a website notebook for my 19 year old college nephew. I am adding to the link archive and will create the "new" Dowm Home as I go.

Oh and we got more snow and more is on the way! Here! Every single year the old timers say "this winter is gonna be bad". Well, they finally got it right. *grumble, grumble*

More From Me?

2010-02-12T12:48:00.002-05:00

Yep, Me again *waving*. Just wanted to let you know that I am slowly adding to our Down Home Sites as I do the Link Archive. Lot's of stuff for cooking, relaxing and from the good old days. Link is in sidebar. Check back often. Have fun!

Me Again

2010-02-10T14:00:00.002-05:00

Hello friends. I apologize for all the bad comments I am getting in both my blogs. Porn sites, etc. I delete them as soon as I find them. If you know a way to stop it please let me know.

We didn't have this much of a problem in J-Land.

Hey Guys

2010-02-09T17:11:00.002-05:00

Yes, I am still around. I am sorry for taking so long. You might know, after all I have...my family has been through, this would be the worst winter we have had in a long time.

Here in my little corner of N.C. (if you get board, google Rutherford county, NC. In the funny shape that it is, look down in the bottom left corner and I am right around in there, near the SC state line. I am waving! ) We are used to semi-mild winters. Cold snaps that will freeze your eyeballs shut but only for a few days here and there. Then we have a few days of 50 plus weather and then 30 plus and back up and down. Occasionally we will get snow. A dusting. Sometimes we get ice. But sometimes nothing. Anyway, it has already snowed with ice twice. Twice! In the same year! The cold snap has gone on and on and on. We ain't used to that! I hope it is over. It is 41 now which for us is okay but it's windy so it is cold.

I have had to go to every place in the county and beg for fuel. I heat by a small gas heater and a huge kerosene heater. One got me gas. Thank you Lord! That was in December. The other got me 100 gallons of kerosene. That don't last long but no gas. Social Services said I would get a one time $600 check this month. I got $263. That is all they felt I needed. So no gas and only 74 gallons of kerosene. So I cut out all the heat at night, sleep under electric blanket and use a small electric heater that looks like a fireplace. I hurt bad but I have to conserve what little heat I have in case we get another single digit cold snap.

I have about 45% of gas I can use if..or when the big heater goes out. Plus I have a small kerosene heater when the gas runs out. It is February. 28 days. March is when the temp slowly rises. So I am holding my breath and hoping for the best.

Still haven't found a place to live. I actually haven't tried too hard lately. Too cold to do anything. It's all I can do to walk. Now that I am on my own, I have to do for myself. Whether I can or not. But I can't go through another winter here. Begging for help. I hate that. I always feel like I am taking away heat from someone who needs it more.

Problem. Most people don't want to leave once they find a place that goes by what you draw. Also, most places say if you are disabled you have to be 50 plus. I am 44.
At least Spring and Summer will be cheaper and I will feel better.

Living without mom is still hard but I am slowly getting better. I do things to keep my mind from going backwards. I am working on my Link Archive journal. Link to it is in the sidebar. I will soon come back and work on sidebar to both blogs and begin what I started. Country cooking and southern tips and front porch swinging. I miss that.

I miss all of you.

Until then, mosey on over to link journal. Play around. I am making a link notebook for my 19 year old college nephew. He keeps losing my blog address. This way he can have it with him, add to it and make it his own. He plays when he has a few minutes between classes to unwind. It is giving me something to do and I am having fun finding really cool links. Some are fun, some are helpful and some are really weird. Sometimes you have to dig deep in a site to find gems. So, when you get bored. Go to the archive, start at the first entry and play with each one when you have some time. You never know what wonders await you. I love grab bags. That is what it is.

Be back soon friends.

2010-01-05T12:41:00.002-05:00

Hi friends. Yep, I am still kicking. Just....*sigh* you know.

Christmas was...surreal. I am still waiting on it. There was no magic. I have always been able to keep the magic of Christmas alive inside me. Just like a child I count down the days, listen to nothing but Christmas music. Watch nothing but Christmas specials and every version of A Christmas Carol there is..or all I have. Look at the tree and love it. My village I play with all day.

I did all of those things. I felt...nothing. I never forgot the Reason but the magic is gone. I hope it comes back. But I don't know.

Heat has been a problem this month but I have people trying to help me. If I can make it through this long month, Social Services will help me February. March is cold but it slowly begins to warm up a degree a day and that will help. I will probably be able to make it to Spring. It's just this month.

I will have to move when...if.... I can find a place I can afford. I can't go through another winter here. Besides, this isn't home anymore. It's a house I come to and sleep in.

Boy I am really a jolly person lately ain't I! Sorry. I will return. Again, I need more time. God bless.

Hello friends!

2009-12-17T13:27:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to drop in and tell you what I am up to. I am trying to work up enough strength to go through some of mom's things. Mostly her Christmas things. She didn't...really take to objects as much as most of us do. She had her favorite things but things were all they were. Some of us almost worship our possessions. Mom didn't. But, she did love her nutcracker collection.

I won't be giving out gifts this year except for my five year old great nephew. Mom is. This will be her final gift giving to her family. Everyone who loved her is getting a nutcracker. I have kept one and two that she hung on the tree. The rest I will give as presents. I need to get started picking and wrapping but I just haven't worked up the courage yet. My nephew will get some of her small ones. He loves them too.

I found out that I will not be getting a raise this year for my SSI. The government has decided that prices haven't gone up enough for such things. So that has hurt me. Even a dollar raise would have been welcome.

Anyway, I am working on my link archive. Trying to do something besides thinking. I won't be adding any new links for awhile. I have tons! And you know that I am a website junkie. Right now I am starting over. Or I should say at the beginning, looking for broken links, cleaning some up that have changed and stuff. Once that is done I will begin to add new ones and hopefully be back here more.

I need a diversion and that feels good to me so that is what I am doing. I created that blog for myself. A place to keep all the cool links out there and help me pass the time when I am bored. But it is also for you all. Go through the archives. I have tones of stuff for kids and adults. If you find a broken link or a bad one, don't worry. I will get to it and fix it for you.

It is my virtual toy. And I need to play awhile. So here I go. Be back soon. God bless and thank you.

It's Me!

2009-12-08T12:55:00.002-05:00

Hello friends. Sorry it has been so long. Christmas really hurts. I got my village up and my tree and my Santa's. I won't be lighting the outside tree this year. The socket where I run the cord is out and I can't afford one. Plus the lights are faded and half don't work and I don't have the money. I miss it but....I am getting used to missing a lot of things.

The Salvation paid to have my gas heater filled up. I still have to conserve. They only do it once. So I am turning it on until the kerosene heater get's hot and then turning it off. It is a 100 gallon tank and only goes up to 80% and it was between 50 and 60 % and it was $115. I can't afford that. A five gallon can of kerosene is around $10 and it lasts about a week or more.

I hung an old bed spread over the arch like mom and dad used to do a long time ago. We would move chairs and the big floor model TV into the kitchen where the big oil heater is. I am doing the same thing but I am staying in living room. The kitchen is cold but I am not in there long. I have a little heater for bathroom so I can take a shower at night. I have to have it very warm or my pain level goes through the roof.

Another place is supposed to help me at the end of this month or early January. Maybe. I got approved from Social Services. I will receive a one time heating check in February.

I hate begging. They said come back after Christmas but I am going to volunteer at the Salvation Army. I want to somehow give back what they did for me.

Food stamps are really helping too. Come spring I will start hunting for new home. At least I get to spend one last Christmas at home. Cold or not.

Nothing feels right. I see the tree, my village, the specials I have on DVD and the music and I don't feel it anymore. The magic. I have always been able to keep the child alive inside me. When mama's flame went out, a part of me went out too. I am 44 years old and for the first time in my life...I don't believe in Santa Claus.

I hope to get it back some day. I just don't know.

I will return soon friends. Thanks for everything. All of you. God bless.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-18T12:01:00.003-05:00

Hello friends. I am sorry it's been so long. I have been busy as well as very sad.

The holidays are here again and for once, I am not excited. I am 44 years old and for the first time in my life.....I don't believe in Santa.

I have a lot to be thankful for though. All of you, food stamps, and many other things.

Getting help for heat has been a problem. Social Services can and probably will help with a one time check but it won't get here until February. Yokefellow which is like Goodwill may be able to help. They can't promise but it won't be here until January. Salvation Army may be able to help the first week in December. Maybe. Everyone is hurting and not enough funds.

So my cats and I are camping out in one room when it get's cold. Soon as the temp in the house reaches 70 degrees I cut the gas heater off. I can't afford anything until my next check. I do have a small Kerosene heater that gives me headaches but it will heat.

So one way or another, we will get through it. We have been having warm days. In the 60's. That helps. It is misting rain and the high 55 but tomorrow it is supposed to be raining and 65.

I will take what I can get! Thanks friends. I will try to write sooner.

2009-10-20T10:03:00.002-04:00

This was again taken at her 80th birthday. I took the picture. It hurts to look at it but you see her eyes? Strong, stubborn and loving. It's almost as if there was something she knew, something she was trying to say through her eyes. She never made it to 81.

I may soon be working on my Link journal. Perhaps making more entries here. Things just seem to be going from bad to worse with my life. Not up to explaining. Just...everywhere I turn, there are holes too deep to walk around. I can't find an apartment within my price range. I have to find one for the elderly and disabled. Most cost more than I make. The ones that don't are full. I found one but it was an upper floor. I can't do outside steps..metal steps in winter. Especially if I have to use my crutches.

I don't know if I will get help with heating or not. If I don't, it's going to be a very cold winter. That is just a part of it.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to dump on you. That is why I have taken a vacation from journals. Until I can gain something close to the real me back. The links journal I use to pass the time. So maybe I will have update soon.

Thanks friends.

2009-09-22T11:58:00.002-04:00

This was taken in April of last year. We were celebrating her 80th birthday. I remember asking my sister, did she think we would be here doing this. Six years ago she had colon cancer and beat it.....or so we thought. She had the brain tumor then, we just didn't know it.

March of that year I had had my neck surgery. I was in bed for weeks and she took care of me.

June the doctor signed her death warrant. From June until April 4th, I watched my mom fight, and then gradually slip away. She went from the strongest woman I have ever met to nothing. When she got in the car and drove it around the yard and realized she couldn't anymore, that was when the light went out.

I watched her die mentally, emotionally and then physically. It changed me. To what, I am still working on.

2009-09-13T10:02:00.002-04:00

Well, I done went and did it. I added a picture to this bloggy thingy. Not the one I wanted but now that I know how, ooh boy, watch out!

I am okay. Lot's of things on my mind. Money mostly...or I should say lack of...so I am still in a whirl. Gotta start apartment hunting soon. Gonna spend the holidays here. I have to complete the circle before beginning a new life. Even if I gotta freeze to do it. I think you all understand.

Be back soon. Thanks friends.

The Beach & Other Things

2009-08-26T21:18:00.002-04:00

Thanks for reminding me Krissy. I am sorry.

The beach was better then I hoped. I remember from years ago but when I got my first look at the ocean...it took my breath away. I had tears in my eyes. I actually played in the water! The salt water is great for leg pain. But walking in it and on the sand killed me. I didn't mind. We stayed until Sunday. I dreaded to leave but I was exhausted. I just hope it isn't so long before I can return. I ate good! Seafood here is great but from the ocean it is Heaven!

We grilled shrimp. Oh man!!!

We rented a house and drove a golf cart to the beach. I took lot's of pictures. Soon I will work on figuring out how to put pictures in this here bloggy thing. I promise.

I still have bad days. Today was one. It just hits me all of a sudden like and boom. I am a little girl alone in a store lost.

September is next week. Pretty soon the holidays. You all know how I feel about them. Well my friends, for the first time ever....I don't want them. I will have them. I will decorate. Not like I used too. But this will be my last Christmas in this house. The only home I have ever known. The house my mom and dad built with their own hands. I can't afford it and the winter will be very hard. But I can't leave until I have been through every holiday here without her. It started with Easter. I have to decorate one more time and say goodbye. I can't take my bar with me so this will be my last huge village. I don't really want to set it up but...I have to.

Mom collected nutcrackers. I am giving them to family as presents. I will keep one or two. I collect Santas.

Well, getting close to bed time and my cats are getting restless. I lost one. Sabrina. I let her out to play and she never came back. Something got her. I have three inside now. I will NOT let them out. I can't lose anymore.

Hello friends!

2009-08-09T13:56:00.002-04:00

Just a note to let you know I am still kicking. It has and is still hard but things are a shade brighter.

I got my license so I can drive now. That takes some burden off my sister. She is having to pay the insurance which made hers go up but I hope to be able to buy my own someday soon.

My family is going to the beach Wednesday and I am going. I haven't seen the ocean in years! I have had the craving to see it for a long time now. The last time was way before my dad died and he died in 1995. So it has been a loooong time! It will be strange going without mom but I need this. I need something to get excited about. Something to look forward to. We come back Saturday. All it will cost me is my food. Had a yard sell yesterday so have a little spending money.

I haven't forgotten you nor have I abandoned this journal. I will return. I hope soon. God bless you all.

Oops

2009-07-18T12:25:00.002-04:00

Hello friends. I am sorry it's been awhile. I just haven't been in a computer mood. I have been busy trying to gather things to have a yard sale cause I really need the cash. Plus, when I move, I can't take everything with me.

I am okay. I go Thursday and try for my license. I am taking it slow. I lost one of my house cats. Sabrina. She went outside to play on the 3rd and hasn't come back. Something happened to her. So I have three now. I won't let the others go out and they aren't happy. I can't lose anymore.

I will be back soon. I just need more time. Thank you all. God bless you all. I love all of you!

Krissy, John, forgive me. I will respond to you soon. I am not doing emails much lately. I just need to deal with this my way. It.......you know.

Sorry

2009-06-20T10:32:00.002-04:00

Please forgive me for not writing sooner. I have just been...here. I am learning to drive. I have my permit. My nerve damage is fighting with my brain so I am having to learn how to drive a little differently than normal people. That will take time. My foot is numb so I can't feel the pedals at all. I am having to train my body how to adjust when common sense tells me to do it this way, I have to do it another way.

I just need more time. This has hit me so hard that I can't seem to do much yet. I will be back. Thank you all for your kindness. And your patience.

Remember me?

2009-05-20T12:26:00.003-04:00

I am still here. With Mom's birthday, Mother's day and Memorial Day, it feels like I am living in the twilight zone.

Nothing feels real yet. just taking it one day at a time. I haven't forgotten you all. I want to start back with stuff I did before everything went downhill. I just need a little more time.

Bare with me. I have never been through anything like this. Even when dad died, I had mom. Now, I am an orphan. That really bites. I guess no matter how old you are, you still need your mom.

I know I do.

2009-04-24T11:06:00.002-04:00

Something happened to computer. Firefox updated and I lost all my saved passwords. I had an extension and it updated and they are gone. Until I find the paper it is all written down on, or I remember or something, I may have to redo it. It saved itself is why I am on here now. I just can't think.

I am okay. Really. Just had a really Twilight Zone week. I am better. Thank you and I am sorry I freaked you all out. I don't remember writing that bit. But since my cats are to lazy to type....

Will be back soon.

2009-04-21T21:05:00.003-04:00

I was listening to the radio today. I have been doing that every day. My cats don't know what is going on. First, I was never at home. Now I shut myself up in my bedroom all day and give them free reign of the rest of the house. I have stopped reading. Even my Bible. By the time I come out it is time....past time to sleep. I hate doing that. I have some pretty weird nightmares before but now....

I don't sleep well. It is 9:07 P.M. and I just came out to wash dishes and sit here. I come out to get drinks and feed the cats. I sit here in the mornings and play on here while I drink my coffee and then I take a shower and go off into the bedroom. I haven't started working on mom's bedroom. It is a junk room now. I keep it that way so it doesn't remind me of her. I need to fix it up. Get rid of some stuff. I can't live here forever. I don't even know if I can afford winter here. I need to sell stuff. I need the extra money. One cat is sick and I have no money to take it to the vet.

I don't even know what I am typing. Don't really care. I don't eat. I have to eat more. I am losing more weight. I probably don't weigh 110 now and I have never been that little. I talk to people and let on as if I am doing okay. I don't have the courage nor the energy to tell them different. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk.

The radio woman started talking about Mother's day. I had forgotten about it. I always got her a plant to go in her garden.

I am so messed up. I knew it would be hard but I had no idea I would react like this. I hardly cry. It won't come. I honestly didn't know that losing her would screw up my world so bad. I have lived 43 years with her. This time last year she was taking care of ME! After my surgery. Cutting grass. Planting tomatoes. Suffering without a word.

Then she lingered for four days. It was torture. she would almost die and come back. Over and over and over. She tried to talk. She looked at me and said things and I could not understand her. I couldn't understand what she fought so damn hard to say. Some told me she said at one point to me that I was the baby. I wish they hadn't said that.

Those four days is what I really can't get past. It was pure hell. I came home the second day and slept because I hadn't slept in two days. I was running into walls. I would walk the halls of Hospice House. I went home the third night because I didn't sleep much. I had packed to stay until it was over. My friend took me. We stopped to eat and my sister called and said to hurry. We were almost there. I didn't even wait for her to stop the car good and I ran. I can't run but I did and I got there just in time to watch her stop breathing.

I don't know what to do. I am trying to drive. I need to study to get my permit but I can't. My sister is expecting me to try for them soon. I want to. I need to but the energy it takes to do that is too much I am afraid. I am so tired. God help me.

Another Update

2009-04-16T12:02:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I am still here. Sorry it's been so long. I have just been sort of in a daze. Not crying much, just sort of...dazed.

I try to do housework and I end up walking in circles and staring into space. My friend came and rearranged the living room for me. So it is mine now. I needed it to not look like hers.

My sister and i have some business to take care of today. I am just now doing the thank you cards. We have to go and fill out a form to have the death date added to the tomb stone.

I feel as if I am doing this for someone else. Someone else family. It is so strange.

I will be back soon. I need to settle down and get on with my life. I have something to tell you all but i don't have the time right now. So I will be back. It will make you cry and give you chills. I hope I can type it without falling apart. But it is a good thing.

Be back soon. Thank you all. More than you will ever know, you guys are my rock. I mean that.

Update

2009-04-05T19:15:00.002-04:00

Mom died late yesterday afternoon. My best friend and I were at Sonic eating when my sister called. It was just right down the road. She floored it. I got there just in time. She stopped breathing just a couple minutes after I got there.

The funeral is tomorrow.

I am numb. I don't know how or what I am feeling right now. It was very peaceful. I didn't stay to see the funeral director take her away. Tomorrow will be.....

I will return. When...I don't know. I need time.

Thank you all so very much. My mom now knows all of you and knows what a wonderful group of friends you are. I am so very lucky. God has truly blessed me.

Update

2009-04-04T12:20:00.002-04:00

Hello friends.

At 1:10 A.M. April 1, (You might know it would be April Fools day; my mom has this thing for holidays, will explain later) Hospice House called me and told me to call the family in. She had taken a turn for the worse and it was bad. My sister made record time getting me and getting us there. She was bad indeed. We thought we had made it just in time. My niece was on her way and we knew she would be gone before she arrived. Her eyes were set and she had the death rattle.

Well, we are still waiting for the old girl to go home.

We are there around the clock now. I am home. I slept here to rest. The doctor came in this morning and said we will probably see you tomorrow!

She just won't give it up.

We have said our goodbyes.....many times. It is sad but almost to the point of being funny. We have all joked about it. We have to. Knowing her it will be Easter. Or New Years.

She takes a turn, we call the family back, the ones who have gone to rest and then as soon as they get there she rallies. We have finally begun to get upset when that happens. I called this morning and my sister said the doctor told her I may see you tomorrow and I just laughed. It get's bad when you pray, please God, would you take the old woman! We're tired!

My niece went to work and her friends asked how is your grandma? She said "ah hell, she's still fine!" They gasped but she explained that mama would not want this. Her blood pressure is better than mine sometimes! Then a few minutes later, it will hit bottom. than boom. Back. They have her on morphine to keep her sedated because she moans. She isn't in any pain that we know of. It is just that she is breathing very shallow and she moans. just air through the vocal cords. They have a patch on her for the mucus in her lungs to control the death rattle.

She is at peace. She opens her eyes at times and we talk to her but she doesn't respond. So we sit and joke around. That is our way of dealing. She is with God. A part of her already is. I beleave that. We are the ones going through hell. So we cope by jokes.

I must go back. I will let you know when the time comes. I don't come home much. They have a computer but it acts up and doesn't let you do things much.

It may be the fourth of july. Knowing her. God help us all.

Still Here

2009-03-24T12:53:00.002-04:00

Would you believe the Alien story now?

Anyway, a lot has happened since we last talked. The cath is out. Mom has stopped eating. They stopped us in the hall last time we went. My bro-in-law brought her some old timey hoop cheese and he got her to eat a bite or two. My uncle is the only one who can get her to eat. He shoves it down her throat! Little brother has the touch. But my sister was able to get hold of her chart. She weiged 106 when we took her a month ago. She weighs 96 now.

She refuses to take most of her meds. They are bitter. They have tried crushing it up in every food & drink they have and no luck. My sister who is a nurse and works at a rest home says that this is normal and as long as her vitals are within semi-normal range, leave her alone. Get what they can in her. She is in no pain that we know. Of course she keeps things to herself. She hicups a lot but my sister said it's because her stomach is empty. That may be the way she goes. She smiles at the nurses and CNA's. They spoil her and she eats it up.

We are getting things ready. My sister has P.O.A. so she went online and begin the funeral plans. We will go and pick out.....soon.

We decided that we need to do this now. We aren't going to be in our right minds when the time comes. She already has a plot and stone so tht is done. My best friend is going to sing. I fixed that and told her the songs cause I won't remember stuff like that. I didn't when dad died. This will be even harder. It's strange doing this. It is strange knowing that this time it will happen. There are no second chances, no drugs nothing that will save her. I am not sure how I feel. I catch myself thinking about it in the shower. I force myself to stop. This is really happening. I am really on my own for good now. Whoa.

I am doing something I thought I never would nor could. I am trying to learn to drive. I never learned because (and the family doesn't know the reason) I used to drink when I was younger. A lot. I did have enough brain cells to not get behind the wheel. For a long time I couldn't give it up so I......

Now, it is my body I am fighting. My legs are better since the last surgery but they still act up. Sometimes my muscles twitch bad enough that when I go to take my foot off the gas, I hit it instead. I have no control. My sister is hoping I can learn to control it. But I am afraid. This is a weapon I am in. Until I gain control, I do not trust myself. I may never be able to. Nerve damage doesn't go away. What if I get on the road and my legs go all screwy for a second. That is all it will take. My right is the worse but when it does it my left leg does the opposite. So I either hit the brake too hard, not enough, or the gas. I have to use my left foot for break because my reflexes aren't good enough. So when my legs do the opposite of what I want. not good.

So far I haven't hit anything. I am just riding around the yard. I backed it into our carport! mom said I could back better than go forward when her and I did it once. I drove down our driveway and backed into the front yard, got the mail and pulled it into the carport. It is a one car carport. I am proud of myself. So far I have done okay. But my legs scare me. I also can't turn to look behind me as good as I need to. My neck is and always will be stiff. I don't have the range of movement like I used to.

Told my family to give me time. I wanted to start this alone. So I could concentrate. I can't do anything when someone is with me. I will ask my sister soon to get in there with me but I need to be alone. I told them I have to do this at my own speed. not theirs. I know it would be a big help to them. I wouldn't have to call them everythime I needed to go anywhere. I don't want to be a burden. I can't take that.

Okay. The dryer has stopped whether I want it to or not. Time to do housework. There is only me and the cats so not much to do but I am getting lazy. Gotta stop that. I have something I want to do on here. I will soon. It is about mom. I will do it. Soon.

Until then, thank you all. God bless and enjoy spring and each other. Before it's too late.

Update On Update

2009-03-16T11:39:00.002-04:00

Sorry it's been awhile. I have no excuse. I could have said I was abducted by really cute aliens and we went cruising through Hklldsdd but I decided to be truthful.

I'm lazy.

Okay, now that that's out of the way.....ma is doing better. Still has cath in her. She doesn't drink enough so it will never be completely well. We went and saw her yesterday. She ate some for us. Chicken livers. Yuck!

It is cold and rainy here. Been that way for days. I guess winter got mad at me for singing the songs of spring and decided to slap me upside the head to remind me that it ain't over! Sorry winter.

Soon I am going to try to get back to the old days. Spruce up the sidebar there and work on my Link Archive. I miss y'all. Until then, I must go and do some work. Trying to get this house back in order. Yea...right.

Mama

2009-03-11T17:26:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I spent the day with my best friend. She is more like my sister. We have known each other forever. It was weird. For a long time, even before she got sick, mom didn't like being alone. So I didn't go out much and when I did I made sure I was home before dark. It was strange not having to tell anyone where I was going or when I would be home. Since I have no home phone, it now goes with me so I don't have to worry about missing a call.

But we were eating and Hospice called. Ma has another kidney infection. Either that or the first one stayed and got worse. They had to cath her again and there was blood and pus in urine. They took a culture this time so they can know what meds to give her. It hadn't come back yet. We went to see her and she was very sleepy so we didn't stay long. I am going back tomorrow.

It just doesn't seem to end.

Sorry I am such a gloomy gus. My head hurts. Gonna go lie down and pout and then feed the cats.

My cats informed me that pouting can wait. They can't. Soooo........

Good goobly Goo!

2009-03-09T14:28:00.002-04:00

If it wasn't for bad luck i'd have no luck at all.

I am very thankful for all the wonderful things God has done for me. He has done a lot. I have been lucky in that respect. So I am ashamed when i complain but you just gotta hear this.

I have to take my cell phone back to Verizon. It's not holding a charge and it get's hot when you use it.

Last night, around 11:00 PM I was in bed trying to go to sleep. Now this all happened in about three seconds. I heard a thud. I thought oh no! someone has hit another one of my cats! Then I heard several more thuds. I hit the floor and knew before i looked that someone wrecked. We have a big ditch in front of our house. It was straddling the ditch, facing the toward the fence across my road.

I called 911, told them where i lived and said I am going to see if anyone is hurt. I just knew they were. I live just about five minutes away from the fire department so as soon as I threw on some jeans and shoes and was outside I heard the fire alarm. I yelled and heard no one. I had seen a shadow right before I dialed 911. I thought someone had got out of the driver side and was either going around to the passenger side or for help.

My neighbors door was open so I went to it and yelled for them. I asked them if they had come to them. They didn't know there had been an accident. I told them to come and help me search for injured. I couldn't climb down the bank to get a good look. by that time a truck pulled up and a young man got out. I knew he wasn't first response. I asked him if he knew and he said yes that he ran home and wasn't hurt. He just lived down the road. I know his grandma.

The fire/rescue came and the young man went to get him. He looked to be about 14 or 15. He wasn't supposed to be driving and he said he swerved to miss a dog. He had to have been flying. His parents came. I waited on the porch cause I figured the trooper would want to talk to me since I was an ear and eye witness. I heard the wreck and saw the boy run. Although I didn't think of him running.

The car is totaled. It didn't flip thank God. He was wearing a seat belt and wasn't hurt. How I don't know. He just got scared and ran home. He will be very sore today and tomorrow and I pray he learns a hard lesson from this. He is a good kid. I know his grandma so he was raised right. This might have been a blessing. maybe this will be his one stupid mistake that we all make in our lives. He walked away.

Well, after forever, the trooper came to me and asked me if I had a mail box. I said yes and pointed.....

There was nothing there!

I walked down there. Just a hole. I found my neighbors box. it was metal. It still is metal. It just ain't a box no more. Still haven't found all of mine. It was plastic. We found the lid. There are tiny bits of it where his car had been. Under it. Haven't found the flag or anything. He was on the wrong side of the road, no license and flying.

The house is in my sisters name so that means she will have to call their insurance company right? My neighbor is a renter and the trooper siad she needs to call the owner. I forgot to ask him. It was around 3 AM after all.

Mom is okay. Her mind was really bad yesterday and she wanted to go home. my heart hurts too much to talk about her right now.

So. How was your day??

Remember Me?

2009-03-06T12:18:00.002-05:00

Hello my friends....no....family. Yes.

Wow. Where to start. The snow didn't last long as I had hoped. Pretty but gone. it is now 55 degrees and going up to 69. I can wear short sleeves out today! Spring is almost here.

Mom's kindey infection is better. Her mind comes and goes. She still talks about wanting to come home which breaks my heart. I miss her. Of course, she hasn't really been around since Around October.

They called me last night at 10: 40. They were taking her to the potty and she fell. Not clear how it happened. I will find out today but she is cut up some. No broken bones. I am not angry with them yet. I know that even with two people, she can drop in a second. But I still want details. I don't think she did it herself. She can hardly sit up by herself. We will see.

I have done a lot. I now have a checking account. I have turned off my home phone. That is weird. I will miss that and the number we have had forever. I got a verizon cell phone AND broadband with them! Yep, I am wireless. I love it but it has it's slow days. I also have this weird static...buzzing sound coming from speakers. Something is interfering with it but I can't figure out what it is. Tech support was no help. My best friend is coming with her two strong boys and we are going to move the computer around to see if I can get a better signal somwhere. It is good here, just that buzz is driving me crazy. I don't here it now but it happens a lot. Thee it goes again. A buzz, crackle, sizzle thingie.

I also got rid of TV. I had Direct TV. BUT! Get this. Because we have been with them for so long, I get to keep it until June for free! Yep. Free. I checked big time. Because we have always paid early instead of on time, I got the big "please don't leave" deal. She said most of her calls are of people leaving. Direct TV has always been very nice. So I am telling you. If you are thinking of getting rid of cable. Go with Direct TV. Basic package with local channels is $35 or so a month. I could do that if I had stayed with dial up. But my cell and internet is $113 a month. That is just a few dollars more than my home phone bill and Direct TV. Plus every one I know and talk to has Verizon so I can talk to them free.

I have a TracFone. The kind where you go to Walmart and buy a $20 card for 60 units (minutes) and they give you 90 as a bonus. I am keeping it active. I don't have to buy a card until 2011. So as long as I keep at least one minute on it, it will stay active. I will use it to text which I don't much but I turn it on at night and charge my day cell. That way I have two phones. I didn't even think about night time. I can't leave mine on 24/7. I think I can afford a $20 card once every few months. Cause I will only use it for over night and to send a text once every third blue moon.

My life has changed so much and so quickly. I just wish I had money put back. I did but when mom got sick I had to spend it. So I have no savings. Just my check. But I have my books. I don't need TV. I will miss it but I can watch stuff online. It isn't as fast as DSL so it takes awhile to load stuff but it is a lot faster than dial up! This is my luxury item. I have my DVDS and maybe I can buy one every other month or so. I have very little left after bills.

has been used so much it I am even reading moms books. The romance books. I don't like them but they are fun easy reads. I am going to have a yard sale in April. Several actually. I put them in a box as I finish one. I am saving mine for the future. Reading whatever I fine now. Mom has boxes of those stacked away. Plus I have a Nintendo 64 I can hook up and play. I just wish I had another console. Minealmosts coughs when I play it. Too bad I didn't buy me a Playstation 3 or something when I could afford it. But I am old school.

Okay, got to go get ready. Sis and I are going to go see mom and I have to take my cell phone back. It get's very hot when I use it. I am going to ask if they have another kind of free one. I like this one. It is blue! But it is very tiny. I like small but it is hard to hold and I couldn't afford insurance! Eek!

Me Again

2009-03-02T11:00:00.002-05:00

Hello friends. My wonderful true friends. Been with me through thick and thin. God bless you.

Saw mom yesterday. Went before the storm hit. She was okay. Didn't mention going home thank goodness. Didn't talk a lot but talked more than usual. Still has cath in. Will talk to doctor Wednesday we hope. My sister works Monday and Tuesday so we don't go until Wednesday. Other family goes though and I call her twice a day.

We got six inches of snow. We don't get snow often so it is a big thing here. It is melting some so hopefully it will be off roads by Wednesday. I took pictures for mom. I bet she is watching it out her window. I hope so. She has a nice view. A patio even! And a squirrel who plays on the bird bath.

I go this week to begin getting a checking account. I may be able to get high speed, get rid of home phone and get cell. I have a TracFone now. I would get rid of TV too if i can get high speed. I could watch TV online! I haven't turned on the TV in two days anyway. I have DVDs and stuff. As long as I have my computer and books I am good. So wish me luck.

Talk to ya soon!

Hello Friends

2009-02-27T18:17:00.002-05:00

Well, mom is getting worse. She has a kidney infection. They put a cath in and are giving her meds. Some days she says hardly 10 words. Last night they called me. She was upset and they couldn't calm her down. She couldn't find me.

I have always been here. I am her support. I am not there. She get's very confused. I have to talk her down until she is ready to sleep. We asked them if they could give her something stronger to make her calm. Especially at night. I thought about spending a night with her once and a while but my sister and i felt that would probably make things worse. One night i would be there and then not. She doesn't know where she is sometimes. I don't even think she knew it was me on the phone with her except for one time. She kept asking me where Tammy was. Happened right as I was going to bed. needless to say I didn't sleep well.

Today she was more alert. But she kept asking about home. When could she go, where was she, what was the place called, etc. I think going to see her makes it worse sometimes.

We can't go every day. my sister works two days a week and I believe that would really confuse her more. We just don't know. Either way it confuses her.

I am still getting used to being here alone. That doesn't bother me. It's just the knowledge that this time it really is for good. We got family going to see her on the days we don't by the way so she is never alone except maybe one day. I call and check on her but I don't call her room. She can't reach the phone and that would scare her if she didn't know who called. It is really hard.

Well, must go do laundry. Just mine now. I don't have to wash every day anymore. I just toss things in the machine and when it is full i wash. My sister is coming tomorrow and help me fix up the place to suit my taste. my computer is in the living room now instead of my bedroom. If it wasn't for her i couldn't do this. If it weren't for you guys i couldn't do this.

God bless you all.

Update

2009-02-23T16:49:00.002-05:00

Hello friends.

Well, a lot has happened since we last spoke. Mom has been in Hospice Residential for several days now. The sad part is that she thinks she is there to get stronger so she can come home. We let her think that. Truth is, she is never coming home. She talks about home a lot. But she can't walk at all now. It takes two just to put her on the bedside potty. Her short term memory is worse.

She seems in good spirits but it is hard to tell with her. Sometimes she has no trouble telling you when she is unhappy and times when she hides things well. We are just not sure. We don't go every day. My aunt goes, my other aunt and uncle goes and me and my sister goes. my sister works two days a week. Monday and Tuesday so it will be Wednesday before I can see her. Sometimes she thinks it has been a week or more when it has only been one day.

We feel that going every day is too confusing to her. Not going is too. So we lose either way. We can't go every day. It is just not possible. I don't call her room. She can't reach her phone and I am afraid she will try when no one is in there and hurt herself or it will ring and ring and it will worry her. I am also afraid she will be confused and beg to come home. I can't bare that. I call the nurse and check on her.

She has a very nice apartment. It has a little kitchen for visitors. A fridge, microwave, etc. She has a door with an alarm that leads out onto a balcony with a table and chairs. She has a bird feeder outside her window and a birdbath where she can see it. She watches the people coming and going. She likes that.

I am alone. My sister asked me if I was lonely. No. I miss mom but I have missed her since June. That was when she was okay. It is hard for me to get it to sink in that this is it. I am alone for good. I cut back on Direct TV so I can stay here awhile. I don't have to move as quick as I thought. I won't have any money left after bills and groceries but at least I can breathe a little. Plus I may be able to cut some more corners. My sister will help me this week.

I have to go and get a checking account. The reason i never had one is because my monthly check is very small. Under $700 a month. Way under. I gave mom over half my check for bills so I never had enough money to keep in an account. But I have to put the bills into my name now. This is all so new to me. Being disabled just makes it harder.

I have a cell phone but it is a Tracfone. No contract, buy minutes as you go. I am going to go see if i can get a cell phone with a plan I can afford. If so I can do away with the house phone. If I can't I will have to keep it cause I can only get dial up where I live. I will see if I can get DSL with the phone plan. If I can afford it. I can do away with TV if I have to as long as I have my computer. So much to think about.

I will check back later. i am taking things one day at a time. I have to think about condensing this house. I can't live here too long. That will take time. Deciding what to keep and what not to keep. Perhaps I could have a yard sell one day and get some much needed money.

I worry about my cats. I have four house cats. If I move it will be to a low income apartment. One day at a time.

Update

2009-02-18T20:11:00.002-05:00

Before I begin, could someone please email Guido and thank him for telling everyone about my situation? I just don't have the time right now. I may soon but I have waited too long for this. Thank him for me and tell him it means so much to me. All of you do!!

Yesterday, my sister called me to check in. She heard something in my voice I guess cause she asked me what was wrong. I told her I couldn't do it anymore. I have said that before when I would get frustrated but this time I meant it and she knew. Mom fell again. She didn't get hurt. As a matter of fact she was laughing. I wasn't. She was in a position where I couldn't use the lift so I had to lift her up myself. My back almost went.

She came up today. We were going to go to Social Services to see if we could get her some more help and decide what to do. Well, her nurse came. She wasn't supposed to come until tomorrow but she was in the neighborhood and asked if she could come today.

My sister talked to her about Hospice Residential. She made a call and they had a room open. So she is there now. That fast. I don't know what I am feeling. I am numb. She thinks she is there to get stronger and come home.

I can't stay here long. I can't afford to. It will take all of her check to pay there. So pretty soon i will have to move into a low income apartment. I have to do a little homework tomorrow, figure up all the household expensives, see what I can get rid of like Direct TV so I can at least stay here a few months.

My aunt thinks I should just pack up and move right away! This house is all I know. I have never lived anywhere else. My dad built this house. I just don't know what I am doing. It has all happened so fast.

I am not going to see her tomorrow. My other aunt (the nice one...don't get me started!) is going tomorrow. i am going to sleep late and rest. And think. So I will come back when i can.

Please know this. There is no way on God's Earth I could have gotten this far without all of you. I feel you all every second of the day. You guys are my earthly rock. God bless you all.

Me Again

2009-02-17T08:03:00.002-05:00

Hello friends and my newest friends! Thank you for sticking with me. I have always wanted to fill my blog with fun and happy stuff. These days, fun and happy seem far away.

It may not be too long befo

I just heard a noise. She fell in the floor. I had to hide the lift chair remote. I can't keep this up. It will kill her to leave home. I know that as surely as I am sitting here. But she is killing me! My back is about gone.

I don't know what to do. It is my decision. My sister has POA but I am primary caregiver. She is waiting on me to say the word unless she feels it is an emergency. How can I make that decision? She gets confused but for the most part her mind is good. That does not help.

I have to get this out. So please bare with me. I don't have anyone to talk to much. God help me.

Still Here!

2009-02-12T12:09:00.002-05:00

Hello friends. Well, my journal has changed hasn't it. Instead of home tips and recipes, it is about me and mom. I hope sometime to be able to go back to that. Someday.

I long for a normal day. But those are gone for good I'm afraid. Mom needs more care now. I am with her a lot. She can't walk anymore. She tries and can take a few steps and then falls. I hurt my back yesterday morning. She wanted to walk to the kitchen. I let her. She uses her walker. She made it but on the way back her legs became weaker. By the time she got to her chair, they quit. I had to put her in the floor. I have a lift now but she was in a position where I could not get the sling under her. My back wouldn't let me. I finally took a deep breath and lifted her up and got her in the chair. My back went too. Not bad, just enough for me to cry in frustration.

My aunt and sister were coming. My aunt stayed with her while we went to grocery store. My sister being a nurse, took matters into her own hands and hires a sitter for two days. It is expensive but I had no choice. The first is here now. From 10 AM to 10 PM and then the other comes for all night. That way I can sit here and play on the computer and mom is taken care of. It feels weird but is nice. Tonight I can take all my meds, turn the baby monitor off and sleep until I wake up! Woo hoo!

They work with Hospice. It's called Helping Hands so they are good. We tried to get her into the Hospice house but are booked until March. She goes then for five days so I can have a bigger break. She doesn't like it but it's like I told her, I am doing everything I can to keep her out of a rest home. That means I have to have rest. One day we will have to put her in one. I dread that. She will die. She does not want to go.

We got her a lift chair yesterday. That helps big time! I won't have to pull my back getting her out of the chair. It's just getting her into the chair. Even in the standing position she has trouble scooting back. The lady and the CNA who came to bathe her had to pick her up to scoot her back. She is only 5'2" so her legs are too short. She is weak and can't scoot herself much.

I hope you all are okay. I do read your journals. Not everyday but when I take a break. I just don't comment. I have no time anymore to do much of anything.

Thank you all for your prayers. You are always in mine and I feel them. Every day I feel you guys. You will never know how much you help.

I will be back when I can. God bless.

Update

2009-02-04T12:50:00.002-05:00

Well, we now have a hospital bed in the living room. She is slowly...well, pretty fast really, going down hill. She has days when she is very confused. She get's her days and nights mixed up. She has kept me awake all night for awhile. She is better today and yesterday.

She can't walk anymore. A step or two with my help. She needs more attention so I am very busy. Hospice has begun. That is a help but I am here with her alone at night. That is where the problems begin. I have to sleep. I give her something to make her rest and put the rails up. I have a baby monitor so I can hear her.

I will be in touch. I don't know when. It is just one thing after another. Stay warm friends!

Mom

2009-01-29T12:59:00.002-05:00

Well, the Asheville trip is over. All went well. She is weak but okay. We saw our family doctor the day before. Tomorrow, Hospice is coming. A period has just been put on the sentence.

I need help. I can't do it all. I am having to lift her more out of her chair. I hope she will be getting a lift chair. We told her that her insurance would not cover as much but Hospice would and we can "quit" them when we want. She seemed okay with that.

It all is just going so fast. I try not to think much. I have a lot of work to do. Mop, laundry, dishes, beds, you name it. It piled up before the trip. I cleaned before we left but last night when we got home, I didn't wash dishes or anything after she ate. I was exhausted. Didn't sleep much in the hotel. So, today I have a lot to do.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense. Just typing and not thinking. I will come back soon. But things are just going by so fast, I have less time for computer.

I will update soon. My sister just called and asked mom would she consider moving her bed into the living room. She agreed believe it or not. So we may try to do that today if my brother-in-law doesn't have to work. That will help a lot. See ya soon friends. And thank you.

Me, Mom & Stuff

2009-01-23T11:22:00.002-05:00

I had another night of no sleep. I was just so achy and exhausted that it wouldn't come. Today, I am beyond....beyond! I am not going to do much of anything. The house is a mess but it will have to wait. I can't do no more. My sister ordered me to forget the house and rest today. That will mean even more work tomorrow but i am done. I am going to collapse if I don't and mom needs me. So here I sit, trying to ease the pain and not winning. Sorry. Enough complaining.

Mom is weak but okay. She slept good! Still dehydrated but she can't be forced to drink. My aunt is crying HOME HEALTH! Yes, pretty soon I won't have a choice. She will get worse. But right now she says no and we can't force the issue. My sister has Power of Attorney but mom can send them away. But if I become unable to help her we won't have a choice. I can't keep picking her up off the floor, chair, etc. It just never seems to get better. I'll shut up now.

Recipe From 1902

Very Old Mincemeat Recipe

Ingredients:
8 pounds beef stew meat
2 pounds suet
12 pounds chopped apples
2 pounds raisins
1 tablespoon allspice
1 tablespoon cloves
1 pound chopped citron
3 pounds brown sugar
1 lemon
1 tablespoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons salt
boiled cider

In a large pot, simmer the unsalted meat until very tender. Cool the meat and then run through a food grinder twice.
Place the ground meat back into the pot with the same water.(most of the water will be boiled down) Add all other ingredients to the pot and add enough boiled cider so the mixture is moistened well, but not too wet. Simmer and stir until the apples are cooked-takes about an hour. Seal in sterilized jars while still hot.

The above recipe comes from the 1907 Ladies Aid Cookbook.

Update

2009-01-22T16:00:00.002-05:00

Well we didn't make it to Asheville. Mom was sick. Very. She had an impaction. I didn't know because she keeps things to herself but it has been two weeks since she went to the bathroom. My sister is a nurse so she came and got it done. It was either that or the ER. She is very very weak. I was up all night with her. We um...had a very big mess. Everywhere! But she is empty. My sister came back today and we worked. We had to take up the rugs in the living room and throw them away. She slept on the couch last night because her bed is high and she can't get out. That is how she fell. Well, we may have to throw the couch away too.

My sister and I took the box springs off her bed so that made it a lot lower. We will try it tonight. I am exhausted. Beyond that. No sleep and hard work all night and today. Mom is so dehydrated she couldn't think or talk. I thought we were going to have to take her to the hospital but sis worked with her, got her to drink some and eat. That helped. She is better.

We go to Asheville next Wednesday. This time we will have to stay in a hotel. We have to be there at 7:45 AM.

Oh and thanks for the advice. I do have a baby monitor that I use all the time. I just have this fear that I won't hear her. I am so tired I sleep hard. But I have to sleep tonight. I can't go anymore. She is able to walk on her own now so I am hoping she will be okay tonight. She goes to bed around 9 PM. I think I will do the same!

Thanks guys.

Mom

2009-01-21T11:28:00.002-05:00

She fell this morning. A little after four, in her bedroom. I just happen to be awake thanks to God. She is okay. Scraped her arm some. I have been waiting for that awful thud and the cry of pain. I finally heard it again. I can't get the sound out of my head. I hit the floor running with my pain catching up a few seconds later. I had to lift her up. I had no choice. I don't know what I'm going to do. She is getting worse, weaker.

We go to Asheville tomorrow for the radiation treatment on her brain. Have to be there at 9 AM. We decided not to go and stay at a hotel. I don't know how smart that was. It was mom's decision. We have to leave here around 7 AM. Each day is fearful. Each day brings something bad. She is coughing again. Not a lot but it is back. I am afraid it is the tumor. She has one, in the middle, where all the main arteries converge. That is the worse one. She also has one on her left lower lobe.

Okay, enough of this. Must get to work. Just needed to get it out. Thanks friends.

Southern Sayings

He's as poor as Job's turkey

She talk's ever which way.

"This thang is plum whompered-jawed."

"I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea."

"Give him time and he'll come to his milk."

"I'll slap you to the back side o' no where."

"He's lower than a snake's belly in a wagon ru

"Jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."

"Grinning like a jackass in a cactus patch."

"He was slobbering over that gal like a new born calf."

"Madder than an old wet hen."

"Ah, the Dickens and Tom Walker."

"He walks like his got ants in his britches."

"There never was a cowboy that couldnt be throwed."

"Ornery as a fried toad."

"Slower than molasses in January."

"Busy as a one-eyed man at a burlesque show."

"Now when I was a kid back on the farm we all had chores to do."
"How old were you when you started doing chores?"
"Why, I was just a baby!"
"C'mon, now--what kind of chores could you do as a baby?"
"I milked."

Amen

2009-01-19T11:23:00.001-05:00

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Sunday Dinner (Sugar Free)

2009-01-18T11:07:00.000-05:00

Date Bran Muffins

1 1/2 cups 100% bran cereal
1 1/2 cups skim milk
1/3 cup margarine, melted
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
4 1/4 teaspoons Equal® for Recipes or 14 packets Equal® sweetener or 1/2 cup plus 4 teaspoons Equal® Spoonful™
1 tablespoon baking powder
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup pitted dates, chopped

Combine cereal and milk in medium bowl; let stand 5 minutes. Stir in margarine, egg, and vanilla. Add combined flour, Equal®, baking powder, cinnamon and salt stirring just until mixture is blended. Stir in dates.

Spoon batter into greased muffin pans; bake in preheated 375ºF oven until muffins are browned and toothpicks inserted in centers come out clean, 20 to 25 minutes. Cool in pans on wire rack 5 minutes; remove from pans and cool on wire rack. Makes 1 dozen.

Nutrition information per serving (1 muffin):
Calories: 164, Protein: 5 g, Carbohydrates: 27 g, Fat: 6 g, Cholesterol: 18 mg, Sodium: 390 mg
Food Exchanges: 2 Bread, 1 Fat
18% calorie reduction traditional recipe

Plop, Plop, Fiz, Fiz!

2009-01-16T12:41:00.000-05:00

Alka-Seltzer®

Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush, and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

Clean a Thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Remove burned-on grease from a pot or pan. Fill the pot or pan with water, drop in six Alka-Seltzer tablets, let soak for one hour, then scrub as usual.

Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

Get short-term relief from nicotine withdrawl symptoms. As long as you're not on a low-sodium diet or have peptic ulcers, drink two Alka-Seltzer tablets dissolved in a glass of water at every meal.

Soothe insect bites.Dissolve two Alka-Seltzer tablets in a glass of water, dip a cloth into the solution, and place thecloth on the bite for twenty minutes.

Update

2009-01-15T11:40:00.002-05:00

Well, we went to Asheville yesterday. It was a very long day. It was 9:00 P.M. when we got home. We stopped and got groceries. They did al the MRI's and CT Scans and stuff. They will make the mask and will call us when we go back. Getting all that done in one day will save us a trip.

They first said the tumor was beside the spot of the last one. He said it was behind. That makes it more dangerous. They can't zap the same spot. So they have to be even more careful. She does have some swelling in there. That isn't good. That may be causing some of the problems she is having.

Things just seem to get more complicated. It popped up so quickly that this may not be the last one. But, I can't think of that until it happens. One day at a time. So now we wait for the call.

Thank you for all your prayers. They are felt.

Tips

2009-01-12T11:06:00.000-05:00

Alberto V05® Conditioning Hairdressing

Prevent silver from tarnishing. Apply a thin coat of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing with a soft cloth to clean, polished, dry silver candlesticks, picture frames, silver sets, and other decorative items. Wipe off excess leaving behind a very thin, virtually invisible, protective coating. VO5's organic protectants actually prevent tarnishing.

Remove a ring stuck on a finger. Rub on a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing, then hold your hand up toward the ceiling to drain the blood from the area, and slide off the ring.

Make cleaning up after painting or doing a messy auto grease job easy. Lightly coating your hands with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing before painting or fixing the car, allows you to clean them off afterward without harsh solvents.

Soften your feet. Before going to bed, coat your feet with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing and put on a pair of socks.

Prevent spray paint from sticking in your hair. Before spray painting, slick a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing the size of a quarter over your hair so you can wash away the paint more easily.

Prevent static electricity in your hair. Comb a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing through your hair.

Protect your scalp during a permanent. Rub some Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing into the scalp before giving yourself a perm.

Minimize drying out your hair in a chlorinated pool. Rub a long dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing through your hair before taking a swim.

Prevent hair coloring from dying your skin. Dab a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on your forehead and around the hairline and ears to help keep the color from staining your skin.

Remove makeup. A dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on a tissue or cotton ball gently removes makeup.

Glitter your face for a holiday party. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing onto your cheeks, then dust lightly with glitter.

Moisturize your face. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing in the lines around your eyes to help prevent dry lines.

Remove an adhesive bandage painlessly. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing into the bandage wings, wait a few minutes, then peel off.

Soothe chapped lips and skin. Rub in a small amount of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Soothe your legs after shaving. Rub some Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing into your skin after the bath or shower to make your legs feel velvety smooth.

Make zippers glide easily. Rub a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing into the teeth of the zipper.

Condition leather. If you're all out of mink oil, substitute Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Protect leather shoes and boots from winter salt and ice. Rub in Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Shine vinyl and patent leather shoes. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing, then buff.

Protect your dog or cat's paw pads. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing before sending your pet outdoors

Prevent shoes from squeaking. Give squeaky shoes a coat of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Detangle and shine a dog's coat. Comb in a small amount of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Prevent cat hair balls and static electricity on your cat's coat. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing. (Don't worry if your cat licks its fur; Albert VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing is natural and non-toxic.)

Shine a horse's hooves. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Prevent a leather saddle from drying out. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Detangle a horse's maneand tail. Brush in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Stop windows from sticking in their tracks. Lubricate the tracks with a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Lubricate pipe joints. A thin layer of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on pipe connections will make them fit together more easily.

Prevent nuts and bolts from rusting together. Lubricate the nuts and bolts with a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing before screwing them together.

Prevent tools from rusting. Give your tools a light coat of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Stop a faucet from screeching. Remove the handle and stem, coat both sets of metal threads with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing, and replace.

Stop refrigerator racks from sticking. Coat the edges of the racks with a thin layer of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing so the racks glide easily.

Prevent squeaky door hinges. Apply a little bit of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Lubricate furniture drawers. Rub in a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on the casters of drawers so they slide open and shut easily.

Keep shower curtains gliding easily. Apply a thin coat of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing to the curtain rod.

Prevent sliding doors on a medicine cabinet from sticking. Rub a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing onto the glides.

Clean wooden knick-knacks and other wood objects. Lightly coat the wood with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing, then buff.

Avoid splattering paint on windows, hinges, doorknobs, and lock latches. Coat them with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing to prevent paint from adhering to the surfaces. After painting, wipe clean with a cloth.

Hide scratches on wood furniture. Put a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on a clean, soft cloth, then buff the spot.

Prevent wood paneling from drying out. Just rub on Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing with a clean, soft cloth, and buff well, giving the paneling a soft glow.

Remove candles wax drippings from candlestick holders. Coat the candlestick holders with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing before inserting the candles.

Make a stainless steel sink sparkle. Shine the sink with a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on a soft cloth.

Shine chrome faucets, handles, and car bumpers. Put a little Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on a soft, dry cloth and buff lightly.

Clean plant leaves. Apply a small dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing to the leaves with a soft cloth.

Break in a baseball glove. Rub the center of the glove with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing, place a baseball in the glove, fold the mitt around it, and secure with rubber bands. Tuck the glove under a mattress overnight.

Lubricate roller skates, skateboard wheels, and bicycle chains. Use a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Prevent a sailboat's spinnaker pole fittings from jamming or sticking. Lubricate with Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing.

Make golf clubs shine. Clean the shafts with a dab of Alberto VO5 Conditioning Hairdressing on a clean cloth.

Sunday Dinner

2009-01-11T11:20:00.001-05:00

1800's Recipe: Old Fashioned Vinegar Recipe

Ingredients:
5 pounds sugar
3 gallons water
Large slice of toast
2 cakes of yeast

In a very large pot, boil the water and sugar for about 15 minutes. Place this sugar/water mixture into a large crock or container that can hold at least 4 gallons and let stand until lukewarm. Now, put the toast on top of the water. Tie a cheese cloth over the top of the jar and place in a warm area. The toast will sink to the bottom when the vinegar is done, probably in about 4-6 weeks.

When done, you can bottle it and flavor it as you wish. This is a very old recipe and will make quite a bit!

Remember, you can find a list of all the recipes in the Sidebar! Look for Sunday Dinner

Update

2009-01-10T11:28:00.002-05:00

When it rains it pours. My back is trying to go out. I have to be very careful. I can't let that happen. Last night, one of my cats got hit by a car. It didn't feel a thing thank God. But that was the last straw. I lost it. My brother-in-law is coming to bury him. Will it never end?

I am going to try and relax today. Not try to do too much. Just try to....try to deal with everything. Be back soon.

Thank you all.

Update

2009-01-08T11:36:00.002-05:00

Well, we made our trip to Asheville. Man it was cold. We got to see it snow! Just flurries but pretty. Good thing it stayed where it was.

We doubted it but we were hoping he would release her. It was too soon. My sister is a nurse and she said he would probably keep her on for another year. Boy were we wrong.

He found another tumor.

It is a few centimeters from the site of the last one. So it is new. It is small but it popped up fast. They will do a one zap of radiation on it. This may just be the beginning of more. Not what we were expecting. They will call us with the appointment. We will have to go and they will make another mask of her face and take more MRI's. Then we go again for the treatment. They want to do it soon.

The road just got a whole lot longer and a whole lot rougher.

Didn't sleep good and have a headache. I guess I need time to adjust to this new journey.

Thanks friends.

Update & Tips

2009-01-06T10:54:00.003-05:00

Well, tomorrow we go to Asheville. Mom get's an MRI and sees the Neurosurgeon about the brain surgery she had in June. It is about an hours drive and she is not looking forward to it. Me either for that matter. Maybe he will release her. I don't know.

To get wrinkles out of silk, wool, and rayon clothes that can’t take direct heat, place a piece of foil on your ironing board, then lay the garment flat over it. With the steam button down, pass the iron three to four inches over the fabric several times. Wet heat radiating from the foil helps smooth out wrinkles.

Aluminum Foil for a Clear TV Signal

If your DVD player is stacked on top of the TV (or vice versa) and the picture is fuzzy, the two electromagnetic fields may be commingling, confusing the signals. (This usually happens with plastic casings; with metal it’s less likely.) Slip a sheet of foil between the machines to keep the fields separate.

Aluminum Foil as Paint Protector

Protect doorknobs and hardware in the kitchen and bathroom when you’re painting by wrapping foil around them to catch dribbles. The foil molds to the shape of whatever it’s covering and stays firmly in place until the job is complete.

Aluminum Foil as Pie Crust Protector

To prevent a piecrust from burning while the filling cooks, make a foil collar to deflect heat. Take a piece of foil about 25 inches long, fold it into thirds lengthwise, and fasten the ends with a paper clip. Halfway into the baking, slip the collar over the crust. Leave it on until the pie is done.

Aluminum Foil as Glassware Scrubber

To get baked-on food off a glass pan or an oven rack, use dishwashing liquid and a ball of foil in place of a steel-wool soap pad, says Mary Findley, president of the cleaning-products developer Mary Moppins. It’s one way to recycle those used but perfectly good pieces of foil you hate to throw out.

Sunday Dinner

2009-01-04T11:45:00.000-05:00

Green Tomato Cake

INGREDIENTS:

2 1/4 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil or melted shortening

3 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

3 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1 cup pecans or walnuts

1 cup raisins

2 1/2 cups diced green tomatoes

coconut (optional)

PREPARATION:

Preheat oven to 350°. In mixing bowl, beat sugar, vegetable oil or shortening, eggs and vanilla until smooth and creamy. Sift together the flour, salt, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg; slowly beat into egg mixture. Blend well.

Stir in pecans, raisins and tomatoes.
Pour into greased 9x13-inch pan. Top with coconut if desired. Bake for one hour, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean. .
Serves 12.

Hey!

2009-01-03T11:25:00.002-05:00

Lot's to do these days. I finished un-decorating and my sister got a new fridge and gave us her old one. Much bigger. I can actually put things in it without things falling on me! Trying to do some early spring cleaning. With my broken body that doesn't mean much but I do what I can. So, while I am trying to kill myself, read something funny.

Here are some actual humorous statements by airline flights crews.

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

"As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.

Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.

Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it's warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Charlotte, where it's dark, windy and raining. Why in the world y'all wanna go there I really don't know."

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head steward announced on the intercom, "This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft.

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella...WHOA..!

"Here are a few heard from Northwest: "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.

As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.

"And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight. "

My New Years Tip

2009-01-02T11:52:00.001-05:00

The Dead Horse

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says
that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in modern business, because of financial considerations and individual's
personal agendas, often other strategies are tried with dead horses, including but not
limited to the following:

1. Buy a stronger whip.

2. Change riders.

3. Threaten the horse with termination.

4. Appoint a committee to study the horse and report back to senior management.

5. Arrange visits to see how we can benefit from others experiences riding dead horses.

6. Lower the standards so that dead horses are included.

7. Appoint an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.

8. Create a training session to increase the riders load share.

9. Reclassify the dead horse as living-impaired.

10. Change the form so it reads: "This horse is not dead."

11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

12. Harness several dead horses together to achieve synergy and increase speed.

13. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity and deduct its full original cost.

14. Provide additional resources to take full advantage of all of the dead horse's
capabilities.

15. Hire a consultant to determine how much lighter riders would improve performance.

16. Purchase an after-market product that makes dead horses run faster.

17. Argue that the dead horse has lower maintenance and overhead and thus has
improved performance.

18. Form a quality focus group to find more profitable uses for dead horses.

19. Rewrite the performance requirements for dead horses.

20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position

Tips

2008-12-30T11:42:00.001-05:00

Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.

Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.

For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze.

Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort

Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.

Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. And now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way!

Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time!

Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.

Spray a bit of perfume on the lightbulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.

Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.

2008-12-29T11:15:00.002-05:00

Hello friends! I do hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah & Kwanzaa. I had a great Christmas. I honestly didn't think my mom would be here. But she was. What a wonderful present! We went to my sisters. We had a wonderful dinner and we got presents! Mom and I didn't get to buy presents this year which hurt us both. We got some for my four year old great nephew and some candy for the adults. My sister got me a portable DVD player. I love it! It will come in handy for the long waiting rooms when we go to the doctors. Plus I can lay in bed without having to turn my TV to where I can see it good. It is in a place where I can see it from my bed but I have to turn my head sort of sideways and it gives me a headache. I need to redo my room but don't have the time or energy. My sister always asks when she comes to help me clean but I say no. It would take a lot of work and mom's bedroom and the rest of the house are more important. Everything always ends up in my room so it is packed up. Have to clean out our out building before I can put things away. Maybe some day.

The day after Christmas I thought we were going to have to take mom to the ER. She was impacted. My sister, who is a nurse, gave her four laxatives. She said it was a tad risky because she doesn't drink enough fluids but it would be easier on her than a trip to the hospital. Mom was ready to go. That is how bad it was. But that day they worked. Man did it work. My sister and brother-in-law had to come and vacuum, mop and shampoo the carpets. Those are three things I physically cannot do. Sweeping either. It is much to painful. But she is better. Dehydrated, but we are working on that.

They took her off her insulin. She isn't eating enough and she was getting too much. But she is still having weak spells. She almost fell Christmas Eve. I had to hold her and walk her to her chair. Very pale and shaking like a leaf. Her blood sugar was 131. My sister said it is just her going down hill and it may continue to worsen. I fear the new year.

Anyway, I will see if I can gather some stuff for you to enjoy reading. I may not be able to post everyday but I will try.

Oh, mom got some flannel sheets for Christmas. She stays so cold and this house is so hot! The linen closet is full of sheets. It is very hard to fold them correctly. No matter how hard we try. I have a whole box of pillow cases that have no sheets to go with them. Where they came from I do not know. But, I thought that I would put the sheet sets inside the pillow cases. It saves a lot of room and all is there together. The wrinkles come out on there own, or you can fluff them up in the dryer before putting them on the bed. Just a tip that works for me.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALL OF THIS and HAVE YOUR CHILDREN READ IT
TOO!

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack
and get on-line She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She
checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant
message:

ByAngel213:
Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home
today. It was really weird!

GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you?
Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?

ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't !
see Anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have
you?

ByAngel213:
Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.

GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213:
Yes and we won!!

GoTo123:
That's great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look
like bees. LOL

GoTo123:
What is your team called?

ByAngel213:
We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They
are really cool.

GoTo123:
Did you pitch?

ByAngel213:
No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done
before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!

GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile......GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search
for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He
took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides
this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told
him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon
until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on
Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton
Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in
the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had told him all this
in the conversations they had on- line. He had enough information to find
her now.

Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home
from the ballpark that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop
her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always
overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an
only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents
wouldn't be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the foot steps following
her. Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring
at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second
base position to see a man watching her closely. He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the
sudden fear she had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the
coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and
she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew
he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few
blocks to Shannon's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly
returned to the park to get his car.

Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time
came to go to Shannon's house. He drove to a fast food
restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices
in the living room.

"Shannon, come here," her father called. He sounded upset and she
couldn't imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the
ballpark sitting on the sofa.

"Sit down," her father began, "this man has just told us a most
interesting story about you."

Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had
never seen him before today!

"Do you know who I am, Shannon?" the man asked.

"No," Shannon answered.

"I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123."

Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age!
He's 14. And he lives in Michigan!"

The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true.
You see, Shannon, there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was
one of them.

But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to
a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to
find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You
told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. You named
the school you went to, the name of your ball team and
the position you played.

The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a
breeze."

Shannon was stunned. "You mean you don't live in Michigan?"

He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel safe to think
I was so far away, didn't it?"

She nodded.

"I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as
lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are
taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time
on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here
and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find
you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned
a lesson from this and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they
will be safe too?"

"It's a promise!"

That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom all knelt down together and
thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic
situation.

*****NOW*****

Please send this to as many people as you can to teach them not to
give any information about them selves. This world we live in today is too
dangerous to even give out your age, let alone anything else.

EVEN FORWARD THIS TO PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS SO THEY CAN SEND IT TO
FRIENDS THAT DO HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN.

2008-12-25T09:47:00.001-05:00

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes,lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Happy Birthday!!!

2008-12-24T10:50:00.003-05:00

Do me a favor, tonight, before you go to bed, look out the window. Look for the star and remember what this wonderful time is all about. Then....look for the sleigh!

In the sidebar in Entry Links, I have added some Christmas goodies in Sunday Dinner. Also, in the Holiday Website link, go and play, read A Christmas Carol and don't forget to let the child inside of you out. May God bless you all my Friends. God bless us every one!

A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS
(THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS)
By Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that ST. NICHOLAS soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all,
and to all a
good-night!"

Track Santa!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-24T10:44:00.005-05:00

The Good & Bad List

Old Christmas Returned

All you that to feasting and mirth are inclined,
Come here is good news for to pleasure your mind,
Old Christmas is come for to keep open house,
He scorns to be guilty of starving a mouse:
Then come, boys, and welcome for diet the chief,
Plum-pudding, goose, capon, minced pies, and roast beef.

The holly and ivy about the walls wind
And show that we ought to our neighbors be kind,
Inviting each other for pastime and sport,
And where we best fare, there we most do resort;
We fail not of victuals, and that of the chief,
Plum-pudding, goose, capon, minced pies, and roast beef.

All travellers, as they do pass on their way,
At gentlemen's halls are invited to stay,
Themselves to refresh, and their horses to rest,
Since that he must be Old Christmas's guest;
Nay, the poor shall not want, but have for relief,
Plum-pudding, goose, capon, minced pies, and roast beef.

Old English Carol

True Christmas Joy

How To Wrap A Gift

Update & More Christmas!

2008-12-23T11:37:00.004-05:00

I am going to be very busy the next few days as I am sure you are. So I will try to do more than one entry today and tomorrow. As much for myself as for you. With mom sick, having weak spells, I have to stay pretty close to her now. They took her off her insulin. She isn't eating and drinking enough. She was getting too much. She had a bad weak spell yesterday. I had to help her to her chair. Her blood sugar was 131 which is okay for her. But when she ate she was fine. I makes no sense to me. She slid out of her chair the other night. She yelled for me and I found her in the floor. She wasn't hurt thank God. I had to pick her up which made my back very angry. I now know the true meaning of exhaustion, LOL.

Christmas Reflections

The Legend of Robin Redbreast

Christmas is just around the corner so it's time for me to share some gift ideas for those special men in your life! Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. For that matter any power tool is a good choice. He may not need it, or know what it does, but it will look good hung on the peg board in the garage.

Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"

Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.

Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties and never buy men bathrobes. If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule#6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. We do not stink - we are earthy.

Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")

Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #12:
Tickets to a professional sports game (any team within 300 miles) are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."

Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.

Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts.Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope.

Rule #16:
Clamps. Men can never have enough quick grip clamps. No one knows why

Rule #17:
Buy your man Duct Tape. This is a man's most universal repair tool. All men know, if you can't fix it, duct it.

2008-12-22T11:01:00.001-05:00

Christmas Lost, Christmas Found

The Golden Slippers

Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
I searched for the tools
to hand to my spouse

Instructions were studied
and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage
"Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet
(not asleep) in their beds,
while Dad and I faced
the evening with dread:
a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot!
And now, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes,
my heart skipped a beat -
let no parts be missing or
parts incomplete!

"Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right,
it goes straight to the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear
but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
so if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas,
without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer,
let the holiday ring,
and not run to the store for one single thing!
We did it! We did it!
The toys are all set
for the perfect, most magical, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I'm grateful went, though I suppose
there's something to say for those self-deluded-
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!

Four More Days!

2008-12-21T11:53:00.002-05:00

Red Boots For Christmas

Dear Santa:

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have). I want arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music.

It would be nice to have a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Update

2008-12-20T15:13:00.008-05:00

Mom isn't feeling well. She has some wheezing. It could be from the tumor. One day at a time.

Rail's Place

The Christmas Fairy

Bipper & Wick

Diary of a Snow Shovler

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like crazy. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the white stuff again last night. More shoveling. Took all day. The idiot in the snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke theshovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a gun who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his ...hair. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the dumb snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother . 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Get Scrooge

Elf Yourself

2008-12-19T11:41:00.004-05:00

Advent Calendar

The Singing Christmas Tree

The Christmas Cuckoo

Santa Games

I enter the home of poverty,
causing pale-faced children to open their
eyes wide in pleased wonder.

I cause the miser's clutched hand to relax,
and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.

I cause the aged to renew their youth
and to laugh in the glad old way.

I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood,
and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.

I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways
with filled baskets, leaving behind hearts
amazed at the goodness of the world.

I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild,
wasteful way, and send to anxious love some little token
that releases glad tears -
tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.

I enter dark prison cells,
reminding scarred manhood of what might have been,
and pointing forward to good days yet to come.

I come softly into the still, white home of pain,
and lips that are too weak to speak
just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.

In a thousand ways
I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God
and for a little moment
forget the things that are small and wretched.

I am the Christmas Spirit!

2008-12-18T14:49:00.005-05:00

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Shake The Snow Globe

The Little Match Seller

A Christmas Story

A Christmas Carol by G K Chesterton

The Christ-child lay on Mary's lap,
His hair was like a light.
(O, weary, weary is the world,
But here is all aright.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's breast,
His hair was like a star.
(O, stern and cunning are the kings,
But here the true hearts are.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's heart
His hair was like a fire.
(O, weary, weary is the world
But here the world's desire.)

The Christ-child stood at Mary's knee,
His hair was like a crown,
And all the flowers looked up at Him,
And all the stars looked down.

A Wonderful Story

2008-12-17T13:02:00.001-05:00

Christmas Wrapping Tips

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun in 1897.

More Fun

2008-12-16T11:54:00.001-05:00

Animated Christmas

"Hurry! Hurry!", he pleaded with the elves and reindeer. "I can't be late. Not tonight of all nights", he exclaimed. He scurried off to the sled and slid in, laying a small package beside him. "Off, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon. Come on, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and, for heaven's sake Rudolph, up with that nose!". The sleigh took off like a shot and headed for the star shining brightest in the distance.

It seemed like hours that they had been flying when they finally headed down to Earth again. The sleigh landed with a big "swoosh" and Santa quickly exited while trying to primp himself as best he could.

He walked past kings, beggars and peasants before he came to the dimly lit manger. And there, before him, lay the most beautiful child he had ever seen. As he looked around he saw stacks of gold and silver. There were exotic spices and fabrics from all over the world. He looked down at his small package and cringed. He walked up to Mary slowly, hoping she would not see the bright red of his face. He layed the present down and quickly backed away in embarrassment. Mary picked up the package and removed the brown wrapping exposing a tiny box inside. As she lifted the lid, a smile spread across her face.

"It's empty!", someone yelled, as a grumble started spreading across the crowd. "No, it's not", whispered Mary. "Inside are the hopes, dreams and wishes of all the children yet to come. Santa has given to the baby the best that can be given. He will bring these gifts, every year, to the world, so that we all can smile a little brighter when celebrating my son's birth."

And now you know how Santa's mission began..........

2008-12-15T14:33:00.001-05:00

In todays day and time,
it's easy to lose sight,
of the true meaning of Christmas
and one special night.

When we go shopping,
We say "How much will it cost?"
Then the true meaning of Christmas,
Somehow becomes lost.

Amidst the tinsel, glitter
And ribbons of gold,
We forget about the child,
born on a night so cold.

The children look for Santa
In his big, red sleigh
Never thinking of the baby
Whose bed was made of hay.

In reality when we look into the night sky,
We don't see a sleigh
But a star, burning bright and high.

A faithful reminder,
Of that night so long ago,
And of the child we call Jesus,
Whose love, the world would know.

Brian K. Walters

2008-12-14T10:27:00.002-05:00

Recipe For A Merry Christmas

1/2 cup Hugs
4 teaspoons Kisses
4 cups Love
1 cup Special Holiday Cheer
3 teaspoons Christmas Spirits
2 cups Goodwill Toward Man
1 Sprig of Mistletoe

1 medium-size bag of Christmas Snowflakes (the regular kind won’t do!)

Directions:
Mix hugs, kisses, smiles and love until consistent.
Blend in holiday cheer, peace on earth, Christmas spirits and good will toward men.
Use the mixture to fill a large, warm heart, where it can be stored for a lifetime, (it never goes bad!).
Serve as desired under mistletoe, sprinkled liberally with special Christmas Snowflakes.

It is especially good when accompanied by Christmas Carols and family get-togethers. Serve to one and all - and have a very, Merry Christmas!

Sally Saves Christmas

Send Rudolph A Letter!

Keep watching the sidebar for links to some of this stuff for your kids...or the kid in you!

2008-12-13T11:21:00.005-05:00

I just put today's entry in the Link Archive.....It's going to be one of those days. So here's more!

Christmas Songs

Joseph's Letter Home

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3 year old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father: an empty box.

He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?" The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and begged for her forgiveness.

It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family or God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

2008-12-10T10:24:00.004-05:00

The Tablecloth

Decorate A Cookie

Surprise

Santa's Prayer on
Christmas Eve

By Warren D. Jennings

The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.

"Dear Father," he prayed "Be with me tonight.
There's much work to do and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well that a reindeer can't fly.

I will visit each household before the first light,
I'll cover the world and all in one night.

With sleigh bells a-ringing, I'll land on each roof,
Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.

To get in the house is the difficult part,
So I'll slide down the chimney of each child's heart.

My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.
I'll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord, only through You,
I just need your blessing, then it's easy to do.

All this is to honor the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them who gave me this job."

Down Home

Update

The Beginning?

Looky!

Little Old Me

Yes, I'm Alive.

Egypt Is Free

Update

Update

Whoa! Steady...Steady....

BOO!!

October

Still Kicking

Two In A Row??

Still Here

I'm Back!

Help

Hello Friends...

Remember Me?

Hello friends

Hey.

Checking In

The End.

Day One

Looky!

A Surprise.

Attention Please.......

Update

*Waving*

Just A Note

Morning! Or Afternoon...Or....

Keep Eyes Peeled! (oo)

Down Home Sites

Oh No It Didn't!

More From Me?

Me Again

Hey Guys

Hello friends!

It's Me!

Thanksgiving

The Beach & Other Things

Hello friends!

Oops

Sorry

Remember me?

Another Update

Update

Update

Still Here

Update On Update

Mama

Good goobly Goo!

Remember Me?

Me Again

Hello Friends

Update

Update

Me Again

Still Here!

Update

Mom

Me, Mom & Stuff

Update

Mom

Amen

Sunday Dinner (Sugar Free)

Plop, Plop, Fiz, Fiz!

Update

Tips

Sunday Dinner

Update

Update

Update & Tips

Sunday Dinner

Hey!

My New Years Tip

Tips

Happy Birthday!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Update & More Christmas!

Waving